The Runday Shag

Issue 2500

Date:      17 December 2023

Hare:      Popeye

Venue:    Albury Village Hall

On On:    Albury Village Hall


  You will have noticed how a few hashers set all the trails these days; Popeye was on duty only recently. Too many of our readers are opting out: every one of you should set at least one trail a year.  Examine your consciences for Christmas! 
Well, today’s trail was in very attractive scenery and in warm winter sunshine, so very enjoyable, with a sip-stop thrown in.  The checks were bewildering: one sent the front runners straight back to the previous check, which seems eccentric in the extreme. 
Another was in the middle of a field, with absolutely nowhere to go except straight ahead, where indeed the flour was found.  Very puzzling.  We had 3 colours of flour, pink for short-cutters before the sip-stop, blue thereafter, but all the pink meant (and at times we were all on pink) was: Avoid the strange check, as described above, doubling back on itself.

  Now, Albury is a favourite spot for Surrey trails, we have all been here often, but I must admit I found the early trail (once we had left that long stretch of main road!) to be new, and well worth seeing.  Albury is well-known for its lakes, but we saw several today which I do not remember from the past.  The blank check, until we found it required a 180 degree turn, did threaten to take us up the hill to St Martha’s church, but no, Popeye was gentle with us, and any ascents were mild and brief.  We now have as regular runners Miss Zing and Bigfoot.  She is enthusiastic and active, calling and checking vigorously, he is as fast as Atalanta or Stevie Blunder: last week he and Atalanta made a point of repeatedly catching the unfortunate Blunder, who was slowed down by his false trails.  I imagine a live run is more likely to succeed without false trails, which are not part of our tradition anyway.  I should also pay tribute to our vigorous walkers, Tosser and Dr Death, today conspicuous among our participants.  Going back to blue and pink flour, it is striking how many of us prefer, at least as we approach Christmas, to take an easier option.
  Those who adhere to the white-floured paths of diligence are in a small minority.  Plenty of ingenuity in costumes for this party run, though nobody that I could notice, or indeed hear, was jingling bells as instructed.

  Words, in my book, should keep only their original strong sense.  Awesome means inspiring religious dread, fabulous means found only in fiction.  This approach is a handicap in quick crosswords; it would not normally occur to me that the answer to “stagnant” is moribund, or “philosophy” to attitude to life.  But HMG wishes to go much further: scarlet means ultramarine, provided they say so.  Nobody may declare Rwanda unsafe if Westminster says the opposite.  Rwanda is meant to be a threat, the ultimate deterrent: say “Rwanda!” and asylum seekers will think again, but for legal purposes, no, what a fine place!  In fact East Africa is fine, provided you are protected against malaria and have a good job; I would suggest staying away otherwise.  The editors of the Mail and the Express nowadays use the expression “The will of the people” to mean the current policy of those papers, and the exact opposite of what “bleeding-heart liberals” may say.  You may

the hare

have noticed a dramatic change in Mail policy and opinions when Ted Verity replaced Geordie Greig, but it was still the will of the people.  Just different people. And a different will?

  On On, FRB

elf & safety
fresh faces
drink stop
I won!

Higher resolution versions of all pictures  on this page & many more in Dropbox or Google Photos

Sister Anna from run no. 2
the esteemed chefs

Shiny, happy people

Letter to the Editor

Dear Sir,

As we were entering the village hall where Atalanta was taking monies, Stilton blurted out, “No ticks, please!  I’ve had one too many already.” 

There are no flies on him!

On on,


Christmas message from Ear Trumpet

The trails (maybe)

Scroll to Top