Lord Raleigh's Snorting Life

Lord Raleigh and the Random Capslocks' occasional reports from following the horses with hashy names

Snorting Life Horse

13 July 2024

HO(O)RNBLOWER BEATS 6/5 FAV JAZZ SCENE GOING AWAY

JENNIFER WREN 5th beats DOLLYS DELIGHT and BOLLINGER GIRL 40/1 in a dash at Newbury

JENEVER a 1st/14 5/1 winner at Sandown was only 5th/7 2/1 favourite at Nottingham

In the first at Newbury HARVEY was a non- runner so no competition to BRIAN( aka LORD B etc) from him then.
In the event BRIAN was 3rd at 28/1

BRIAN THE SNAIL runs at Carlisle on Sat ( In the event he was a narrowly beaten 3/4 length 2nd to RUNNINGWILD by FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH out of Don t Tell Nan

At Windsor in a dash ANGEL RAFFLES headed the field momentarily lost it and then rallied to beat JENNI 15/2
for 3rd spot

GO ON ROSIE was 5th /9 in a sprint at Thirsk

DR …TH.G 11/1 took a keen hold early on in a dash at Nottingham but later faded 3/6 running green Runs again on Saturday’7th at Beverley – a mere 84/1 on some sites and despite the long odds had several behind him. 

However DR SANDERSON 6/5 won his race well at Cartmel “Well I was feeling pretty good in myself after laying a decent trail at wherewasit ? – gives the old morale a boost dont you know “

WHISKEY PETE found himself short of room at Ascot and finished down the field at 9/1

AT Ascot RUMSTAR 15/2 faded to 24th/25 1f out when he saw his chance was gone.  ROCKET RODNEY aka COME ON TEDDY etc 66/1 was 7th.  RUM RUNNER despite a slow start surprised at Beverley at 12/1

POPMASTER no7 was 7th in a 7f at Haydock before finally losing it in a dash at Newcastle finishing 10th /11 “I was all at sea there ” he said.

AMERICAN GERRY finished 5th at Newton Abbot ahead of IMPERIAL JOE and 80/1:SCRUMPY BOY(PU).  “KInda nice to come in front of a couple of hashers even if they were only visitors “

TEN POUNDS aka Three and Fourpence justified odds -on favoritism with a comfortable win at Lingfield

LADY CHATTERLEY has not been out since October where she was in her usual position- down the field at generally huge odds but with a quality pedigree on both sides she might spring a big surprise one day After all she’s only 3 ! Watch this space

IN a dash at Newmarket TREFOR replicated his win earlier at Windsor again at 7/2

BUGLE MAJOR (USA)has not run since the end of May where in a 2m + chase at Cartmel she finished 7/11at 11/1 just ahead of HEY BOB Rip and TRUE ROMANCE

At Newton Abbot SWEET CARYLINE 28/1 gave hot odds -on shot HUELGOAT a fright beating VICTORIA LINE 40/1 aka Magistrato ( Retired )? for 2nd place

MR SQUIRES aka CURLEY aka Curly (RIP) had to explain his poor performance to the stewards saying he would have preferred softer going

Well I’m sure you think that s quite enough for the mo being except to say POUR ME A DRINK. …which at 66/1 finished behind LUCKY LOVER BOY and only beat JOHNNY BOOM and WELL VICKY aka MAGISTRATO Rtd (PU) in a 2m+ hurdle at ? Will he do any better at Kempton tonight Wed 10/7

We shall see

On On
Ld Raleigh

21 June 2024

BRIAN THE SNAIL aka LORD BRYAN etc GOES FOR A SPRINT AT RIPON

This wily 10 year old by Zebedee is quite capable of springing the odd surprise so would he equal his September 11/2 win at Bath and celebrate his forthcoming birthday?  NO ! – 5th/10 He was 12/1.

ATTY S EDGE along with 40/1 CAPTAIN BENTLEY. were also Involved in a sprint at Bath but 5th and 8th respectively they both were no match for FRANK THE SPARK aka BOWNDER etc 1st at 11/4.  5/2 BLUE ST had won over 10f at York in May what would 25/1 BLUE COLLAR do over 6f at Goodwood?  A – he wound up 2nd sandwiched between an improved OUR PAPA SMURF and PAPAGEI

BOWMAN has recently clocked up a couple of seconds at Ayr and a win at Catterick RIP Charles _we remember him as ever ready to help the knitting circle negotiate difficult terrain. – “Take small steps! Go down sideways!” etc.
DESPERATE DAN Mach 2 _returns as a 3year old colt finishing 8th/10 in a 10f event at Newbury gd to soft ? and then a non-runner at Wolverhampton Like the human version DESPERATE DAN 1 & Desperate Dan or Sip Stop have not been seen for many a year Out to graze?

TOSS AGAIN aka TOSS THE HAT etc in a 3m h’cp Chase at Ballinrobe threatened to lead in last 2 furlongs but dropped back to 4th when headed MR TREVOR a short priced favourite at Hamilton did far worse t( 9th/14) than when he was a 25/1 shot at Carlisle 6th/12 “Well” he said “These days I’ve got more lmileage on the clock than I ve made hot dinners these days and that’s saying something.”

SEYMOUR PROMISE was 33/1at Newton Abbot but had to be pulled up “Just a little out of training I do my little worst these days” he said
However the other half MRS TWIG aka Twiggy 9/5 fav? destroyed my selection CRACKING FILLY 100/1 ? and won well CRACKER STAR made a rare appearance at Bath to win over 11f at 3/1 “Nice to get a change of air ” she said

ATTY S EDGE 18/1 came 6th in a sprint at Bath then was a non runner at Haydock not liking the soft going at odds with the human version whom we believe does
PUB CRAWL was 40/1 10th/13 at Ffos Las and runs tomorrow Saturday 8th at Bangor -on -Dee.
(However again an abundance of beer took its toll and it finished well down the field)

CHAMPAGNE SARAH after having placed in four previous races was now favourite to oblige at 100/30 at York ….. Result – 11th /21 !

CHAMPAGNE CITY was 4th at Hexham at 9/2 GLASSES UP was a creditable. 3rd/14 at 28/1at Ayr and then at the same venue & distance at Ayr was only 6th/7 at 11/1 DRINK DRY was a good second at Nottingham
SHE S GOT BOTTLE aka ROSIE AFFAIR RESTLESS ROSIE etc was a good 3rd in handicap at Beverley TEQUILA ROSE aka Chunderous ? rose to the occasion at Brighton with a win at odds on
GO JOHNNY GO aka JUMP UP JOHNNY have not run for a while
(both could be taken as  e xhortations for John ET to get up out of bed and move it !)

MY MATE MIKE aka  WALKTHEMOON aka Moonwallker won a 7f handicap at 9/2 at Lingfield
SPORTING MIKE aka Follow Through had not run since April like the human version had not been seen out for some
(well Surrey is quite a trek from Rugby) However the aforementioned plus Dennis the Menace were all in evidence at the Sheepleas Horsley last week G
At Newton Abbot SWEET CARYLINE aka Mrs G ? Olive O ?gave the 4/1 on hot pot Huel Goat a scare coming 2nd at 28/1
Also at Newton Abbot in a 2m+ hcp hurdle COLONEL LESLEY aka STAFF SERGEANT
LES WOODY FLASH etc beat FLASH etc beat ELECTRIC EDDY for second spot. RUN THIS WAY has been doing well with a first at Ripon and Redcar before finding the good to firm going at Thirsk unacceptable. Whereas at York RUN BOY RUN didn’t despite taking a keen hold early on and weakened into14th /17 to winner JAMES DELIGHT 6/1

The Derby is a distant memory – won by fav City of Troy.
We remember Eric Morcambe of comedy duo M and Wise tipping their horse and subsequent Derby winner on TV  ‘If at first you don’t succeed TROY TROY and TROY again ‘! That WAS a long time ago!

On On

Ld Raleigh

27 May 2024

SH3 & THE EQUIDS or Quids In QUIDS OUT

SABRINA SAILS IN AT 16/1 AT WINCANTON !

SABRINA aka Amandaballs etc made short work of the 3m h’ cp chase. However it was a different story at Haydock when she was pulled up also at 16/1 whilst QUEEN OF ATLANTIS who had previously reeled off a hat trick before registering a 4th at Sandown finished 6/8 at Goodwood where she was again 20/1.


RAFFLES WONDER or should that be WANDER( in search of truffles) ? was strongly fancied at Hexham but as 6/4 favourite could only manage 3/7. “I Dont mind a bit of shiggy but that was ridiculous” However RAFFLES ANGEL showed what he could do in a sprint on good going at Ripon 1st/14 at 11/1.

FLEUR MAN don’ t know if he ever comes Hashing finished 3/7 at 11/1? at Chelmsford but SAISONS D ‘ OR aka FLEUR IRLANDAISE HAZEL etc who had been knocking at the door for some time finally hit pay dirt at CAtterick beating a field of 14 at 5/1

At Brighton ATALANTA BREEZEd in (see what we did there ? ) to 3rd spot at 11/1 well ahead of fancied pair Hurtle and Sailing On and FASCINATING LIPS 11/1? last but one (9th )
PRINCESS ALEX aka MORNING ALEX MASTER CHEW etc won over 7.5 at Beverley seeing off BAZBALL and MIDNITE RUNNER in the process.

COWBOY COOPER aka Gary Tail End OITE ‘s other half in a 3m h chase at Perth won at 9/2 in hvy going Story goes that when mother christened him she had no idea she was naming him after a legend Really ?

UNCLE ARTHUR and ARTHURS REALM both came 6th in their respective races CALL ME ARTHUR runs last at Southwell Can he do better ? We shall see.

In fact the 3m h ‘cp hdle a field of 10 was won by …CALL ME ARTHUR at 11/4

CATCH CUNNINGHAM aka CL was involved in a sprint at Wolverhampton was 6/8 well behind POP MASTER in 3rd.

Last week he confessed that he was of Scottish lineage so That explains his generosity of spirit his generosity but also his extreme thrift.  Of course nowadays we re not supposed to generalise about nationalities but I venture to say that most of us in fact do.

At Newbury hot favourite WILTSHIRE wilted right out of the frame and RUMSTAR went close to taking the show at an early 25/1 to come second ” I’m a different animal when I get the sun on my back ” he said.

Earlier at Plumpton in a 2.5m chase MAGISTRATO 7/1came 3rd well ahead of EYED in 4th.

Well let’s knock this on the head Unbelievably the Derby is just round the corner However these classics don t have the clout they once did presumably because with the advent of mass media there is so much more to distract and entertain I cannot Imagine many schoolboys (they were generally boys ) habitually taking taking the day off school to go to the Derby*
or the Oaks

* Mind you they would not have to nowadays as it is now held on a
Saturday !


On On
Ld Raleigh

22 April 2024

THE HURTLING TETRAPODS (some of them) and SH3 (Some of them)

GAWSH HOW POSH finished 6th just behind SHOESHINE BOY Iib a 3m + hurdle at Haydock ‘That last place I stayed in wasn’t a hotel, more like a a ghastly Road House. The others didn’t seem to mind but then they’re re not posh !
PAY THE PIPER was 2nd in a hurdle at Chepstow

PIPERS CROSS ( Why was he cross? Was it because you didn’t pay him for his sterling investment advice?
After all he won a nigh on 3m hurdle at 3/1 at Chepstow in gd to soft and had the satisfaction of beating TEQUILA BLAZE into 4th place!

ARTHURS REALM well fancied over a mile at Lingfield but went forth and came 5th.

LOOKING FOR LYNDA They are still looking- last seen on a sprint at Pontefract or was that on a Barnes run?

OUTLAW PETER (who could that be?) won at a 2.5m+ chase at Ayr. 7yr EYED decided not to run in a chase in heavy going at Southwell.  ‘I don t mind shiggy dey but that was ridiculous.’
JOHNNY JUMP UP like his human counterpart was not keen to do that. See below

WHISKEY MACGONAGALL 5/1 won a sprint at Newcastle where in a 2m handicap ANA AMARAATY aka Fish & Chips was 6th. COCOA BEAN 7th and DOUGIES DREAM 8th.
CHAMPAGNE COURT 11yr old did well to come 2nd in a 3m+ chase at Wincanton.
BOWNDER (2yr old would you believe?) went to Windsor for a 5f sprint. The bookies doubtless perceiving his lack of fitness after the excesses of his landmark birthday made him 33/1 which odds he justified by coming 9/10 just behind JIMMY HENRY aka Oi You ( Where he?) OI OI etc.

CHAMPAGNE CITY finished nearer last than first at Chelmsford

CHAMPAGNE TWIST came to Aintree with two consecutive wins under his belt but finished 9/19 in the 2.5 M hurdle

SPICED RUM celebrated his birthday a few days later taking a keen hold early on but finishing out of the money in 4th but ahead of MAX of the STARS (Rip) in 7th
FLASH GORCOMBE aka Flasher Gordon aka WOODIE FLASH etc won a 2m Chase at Taunton
1 /11 at 100/30
‘ If I can’t get over to Nice the West Country makes a nice change’ he said
JOSH THE Boss 4th /8 just behind HURRICANE HARVEY at Ascot next runs on Saturday April13 on Masar s Birthday
JUMP UP JOHNNY aka BURGESS DReam previously a 16/1 winner at Fontwell and 2/8 at Wolverhampton put in a mediocre performance at Taunton where he finished down the field well behind Secret Squirrel but ahead of 200/1 + 250/1+shots Maryottie CAPTAIN S PICK GIDDY Up etc
MY MATE POLLY competed in a hurdle at Hereford and finished 4/8 not bad for a 100/1 shot.

The Grand National was the most sanitised ever with a reduced field and less challenging obstacles.  Great for the horses.
No fallers. No fatalities. Only two horses unseated their rider. To select one UR as your main flutter out of a field of 34 is fair enough but to select both takes some doing but we managed it!
Take Care
On On
Ld Raleigh

3 April 2024

NATIONAL SUCCESS !
INTENSE RAFFLES concentrates in a big race at Fairy house in Ireland and gets the job done at 13/2 !  ( Let us know when you are going to do something like that Raffles ! )
Owner said “We always knew he was a quality animal that he that is why I always take him out trail- finding.’

At Southwell CLIFFCAKE aka ‘Shere Drop ‘ aka ‘Gandalf’ ? aka Cliff (who with fam. seemed to display great enthusiasm for the hash on a couple of occasions and then not seen since) stole the last race much to the chagrin of the supporters of the previously ultra- – consistent TYKE which finished way down the field and expletives far far worse than ‘TYKE !’ rent the air….

In the first at Newbury IDY WOOD aka WOODIE FLASH aka STAFF SERGEANT LEN aka ‘ Ardon etc beat THE GOOD DOCTOR for 7th place.  WOODIE FLASH won a nigh- on 3m hurdle at Market Rasen in heavy going . GIBBERWELL focused on the job in hand for once and came a creditable second in a slog over 3m at Hexham whilst GERYVILLE won a chase at Carlisle where FLOWER OF SCOTLAND was 4th and last.

At Haydock TOP VILLE (NICE? ) BEN aka ‘Lonely’ etc ran 5th with CHAMPAGNE MYSTERY and PINK LEGEND one finished in the frame DASH THE FLASH aka GRANDMASTER FLASH (not retired) seems to be coming off the boil with a 4th at Newcastle after his fine win in February.

POUR ME A DRINK finished 5th/7 at Wolverhampton.

CHAMPAGNE CITY justified a price of 50/1In a by finishing last in a hurdle at Southwell won by ANOTHER RUN 11/1

(KEEP RUNNING finished some way second/4r to Malaita in a sft -hvy chase at Ludlow)

CHAMPAGNE TWIST followed up his win at Doncaster with a win at Sandown over 2m 6f where heavy in places

CHAMPAGNE MYSTERY may have been a non- runner recently but promises to give a good effort at Haydock on Saturday We shall see.

-Not SUCH a good effort_. he fell !

EVERYDAY CHAMPAGNE last ran end of Feb where 5th/7?
DRINKABLE runs somewhere today- Catterick?


Past time to put a cap on it


So
Hoping you all had a good Easter
On On!
Ld Raleigh

14 March 2024

NOTOWLINDA POWERS IN AT Hereford POSH ET NOIR 200/1 8th/8. at Ayr.

Quoth Linda – ‘That’s my reward for stepping in at the last minute on Sunday for Ms COCOA BEAN who was engaged elsewhere.
POSH ET NOIR said, ‘As a matter of fact I was in ‘ Noir’ on Sunday – a black rainsuit also trail- laying in the pissy weather! What s my reward?

A :- The gratitude of the hash!

OUR FRIEND MOE 6 yr old was 5/7 at Market Rasen and then was a non-runner whereas LIGHT FLICKER aka LIGHT SWITCH improved on her two previous runs where she was pulled up.  ‘Look I had a great year recently but now at age 12 I think I am entitled to take things easy.’ The biped version popped up at Wotton ? after a long absence looking as fresh as paint benefitting no doubt from the Bournemouth air.
LOVELY MASAR aka Maureen was 80/1 at Chelmsford and unsurprisingly finished down the field in a dash won by FROST AT DAWN.  FLEUR DE MER aka FLEUR IRLANDAISE 3rd over 11f at Kempton has placed in all her last four races.

QUEEN OF ATLANTIS has been enjoying a purple patch recently in the frame in last.  LOUPY Collonges 4/1 could only manage 3/5 at Newbury.  ‘Hang on I’m just recovering from injury. You’ll see more of me soon.’

SHEILA( IRE) has not been seen out for some time. Early retirement beckons?

ANNIE DAY 12/1 couldn’t compete with the younger OUR PINK LADY 11/2 aka Pink Pussy at Southwell finishing down the field 6th/7.

Incidentally ROMEO BROWN decided to celebrate his February birthday by pulling up at Doncaster & RON O took it easy in his race.
ANA EMAARAATY aka Fish and Chips went back to Newcastle to improve on her 2nd place there a few days earlier which she did in style beating EVA ROSIE and M COCOA BEAN.

LITTLE JO & BUGLE MAJOR have not been out for a while.

THE GREAT RAFFLES participated in a Punchestown 3m+ hurdle 3m where LUCY PRUNELLA was 3rd at 200/1 and B. BETTER was 6th at 50/1.

JUST CALL ME LUCY followed up a good win at Carlisle with a 7th at Sandown where she finished ahead of MAGICAL ANNIE.

FLASH THE DASH has thriven at Newastle whereas GRANDMASTER
FlASH (not retired) has been producing vets cerfificates L R & centre.

We’ll shelve the Drinks comments for the mo except to say that CAPTAIN GUINNESS won the feature race at Cheltenham yesterday. I really should have had more than a few pence on him!

Shouldacouldawoulda’ – the old story.

Ah the Epsom Downs of racing!
Drinks –
POUR ME A DRINK
CHAMPAGNE MYSTERY
EVERYDAY CHAMPAGNE
At Catterick in a 3m+ TWO SHOTS OF CHAMPAGNE was up
against EVERYDAY CHAMPAGNE & BETTY BEA
‘JUST ONE MORETHING ‘ ….

IF there is anyone out there like me fingers burnt head sore from head banging labouring under the misapprehension that ‘Surreyh3. org’ is still a valid route to the SH3 website
– IT ISN’T .!!  If you are interested in Training Courses and Job opportunities OK but NO LONGER WILL IT TAKE YOU TO THE HASH WEBSITE!! *

ON ON
Take Care
Ld Raleigh

*It’s got to be spelt out in full folks!

28 January 2024

The FLYING QUADRUPEDS & SH3

FRANSHAM aka SBJ celebrated her birthday(‘The DayofTheHeavyweight!) a few days early with a second at 18!1 in a hurdle at Kempton.  BLUE COLLAR Lad 12/1( b. 5/03 – ‘ The Day of Heaven or Hell ‘ ! ) featured over a mile at Lingfield and finished well down the field – perhaps he’s keeping his powder dry for tomorrow Monday at Wolverhampton.

WALK ON THE MOON 14/1 aka Moonwalker ( ‘ The beer s better down here’ ) briefly made a showing at Wolverhampton.  Probably his 150/1 4th in a hurdle at Newbury was a better effort.  MICK S SPIRIT aka SPORTING MIKE aka Follow Through ? (or is that DENIS THE MENACE s hash moniker?) was 5th/6 in a sprint.  “That was a hot race Think I must lay off the ale for a while.”

CAPTAIN BENTLEY aka Captain Web’s reject horse MERRY MINSTER has so far justified the former s decision with recent form something like 76767, however in his race he got a little nearer to the action 5/9 with odds of only 4/1
POLLY THE ROCKET aka Polly Garter /Speedy H won a dash (7 furlong’s a dash?) at Newcastle at 28/ in the previous race PALLAS LORD 7/4 beat LittleTED with POP STAR 11/1 not far away in 4th.  ANNIE MAGIC was 3rd in her race at Warwick ahead of LIGHT FLICKER aka Mo.

Whilst ANNIE DAY finished down the field in 9th in her 20f hurdle at Hereford.  FLASH GOSCOMBE 100/30 aka Flasher Gordon won at Newbury where CHRISTOPHER Clive aka CAPTAIN PEAKY etc unseated his rider.  OOH BETTY 40/1 aka ‘B’ in a 2 mile hurdle at Lingfield beat ASTON MARTIN 14/1 that would have been some f/cast assuming you were clairvoyant!

We all know MARTIN’S BRIG aka LE GRAND FROMAGE etc sailed a while ago. However the four legged variety still keeps going having self-certificated himself out of a race at Newcastle he returned a week or two later to come 2nd ahead of WHERE’S THE CRUMPET TOP GUN TINA and the rest – probably his best run or some time.  GRANDMASTER FLASH (not retired!) didn’t like like the look of the 3m + chase at Newbury and presented a vet’s certificate to opt out.  DOCTOR V came 2nd at Chepstow.  DR Sanderson challenged the leaders at Sedgefield before easing back to 5 5th/8

DRINKS :-
At Gowran Park in heavy going CHAMPAGNE MAHLER 14/1 won the . and CHAMPAGNE VIEW 11/1 won in the 6th A great double for the clairvoyant.  WHISKEY M C GONAGALL 20/1 was 2nd to a short priced favourite at Newcastle.  WHISKEY EXPRESS 40/1 was competing against PORTER IN THE Park 20/1 in a mares race at Leicester and finished well down the field.

EYED aka OITE (By Expert EYE? out of ONE GULP! was, that a pint? ) competed in a chase at Warwick with GETBAZOUTOFHERE and STEVE D aka DORMOUSE None of them a match for 2/1 fav NO TACKLE( g? }
IMPERIAL ALEX aka MASTER CHEWY etc was second.  SIR RODNEY aka ROCKET RODNEY COME ON TEDDY etc justified his odds of 250/-300/1 by coming 10/10.  MR SQUIRES (Rip – ‘Lord I know I’m a sinner but make me a winner’) after his promising 3rd at Southwell put up a disappointing show there a few days later finishing 10th/11
whilst ANGELICA K aka Short An came 3rd at 33/1 in a 10 f h’ cap at Kempton.
Also at Kempton HARRIET’S ANGEL won as a 7/4 fav should do but often doesn’t.  HASHTAGMETOO came 2nd in a 12f h cap at Wolverhampton.  WHERE S THE CRUMPET? 4th/12 at Newcastle at least had the satisfaction of being well ahead of the wretchedly named RETIREMENT BECKONS in 10th (Why I find that name so irritating I find hard to explain but I do!)

Another Sarah has come onto the horizon Sarah Buss ? Sis to Little White B (BTW Greetings and Happy New Year LWB to you and yours if you are still reading this column.)  Could this mean that in her well deserved retirement she may be giving the hash a whirl? We shall doubtless see in a while
ON ON for now
at a canter
Ld Raleigh

5 January 2024

CAPTAIN GUINNESS and CAPTAIN BENTLEY both let the side down on Sat  At Leopardstown  CAPTAIN GUINNESS was strongly fancied to continue his fine run and the latter was his usual unpredictable self He been last on two occasions at 150/1 but also came second at 150/1 in his next race.  

AMERICAN GERRY continued his mediocre middle-of-field  progress by pulling up at Ludlow  ‘Hey I don’t think I’m doing too badly for a recently crocked 80 year I mean 8 year old,’ he said – whilst BLACK GERRY continued to pose as AL JOLSON in a top handicap at Ascot and came 5 /7.

MAGICAL ANNIE flopped at Doncaster for her new trainer having previously been an 8/1 winner from a huge field in Galway.
AILIE Rose was 6/4 favourite at Ayr and won like a good one.
ROGUE ROSIE thought she would try a sprint at Wolverhampton. “5 furlongs is quite far enough for me these days,” and finished 6th/7.
T RAMBO 2/1f  (not wearing trademark psychedelic jogging pants) celebrated Christmas with  a win over hurdles at Newbury.
GIBBERWELL was contesting a 3m Chase at Catterick and talked himself out of a place.
In an early race at Cheltenham RUMBLE B made a rare appearance.  Likewise BUMBLEBEE BULLET in the last at Kempton Neither showed – obviously not getting out enough  these days.
33/1 STAFF SERGEANT LEN celebrated the New Year with a chase  in the last at Cheltenham but threw a wobbly and unseated his rider.  However DIRTY DEN aka DENNIS THE MENACE came 2nd.
The human  version along with  Follow Through? aka SPORTING MIKE etc  Moon Walker aka WALK THE Moon etc have not been seen for some time possibly relying on Follow Through? to turn up from Rugby with the large van.
SIR RODNEYREDBLOOD (Don’t mention bl.. bl..d to him!) aka COME ON TEDDY etc dead – heated with DAYTONA LADY over 7f at Chelmsford just beating THANKTHELORD
HASHTAGMELORD did not appreciate the heavy going at Newcastle finishing l6th/9  just ahead of Edgar Alan Poe.  “Can’t  stand all that shiggy,” he said 
His oppo likewise – remembering a cross-country race at West End near Esher, which followed the course of a dried up but still very very squelchy river bed where he finished an ignominious last or nearly so.   (One strove to be competitive in those days!) 
Time to knock this on the proverbial.
 
A VERY Happy New YEAR to all our readers if some there be
ON ON
at a canter
 
Ld Raleigh

28 December

SEASONS GREETINGS to all our readers!

DORKING COCK 25/1- 10/1 unseated his rider in a 3 m + chase at Aintree.  LOUNGE LIZARD was 5th.  JUSTCALLMEPETE came 7th/8 in a dash at Chelmsford in November.

GREAT RAFFLES must have spotted a rabbit as though 2nd favourite he finished last. However GOODOLDBILL and a couple of others didn’t like the going and self-certificated themselves out of the race At least G R doesn’t seem to mind the shiggy!

FOLLOW CHARLIE – It wasn’t a good idea to do that last time as it was absolutely pouring rain in East Clandon (But at Ayr in a 2m hurdle he came second 2/8).

TOP VILLE BEN Top VILLE (that must be Nice for Ben as he spends a great part of the year there) having run a blinder at Leopardstown struggled at Cheltenham.

Another Nice fan FLASHER GORDON (He had to bare all or nearly all or nearly all to get his hash name there) was represented by FLASH THE DASH who was 2/8 in a 2mile hurdle at Ayr.

BODY PARTS was in a sprint at Wolverhampton.  He said, ‘Actually I could do with a new left pastern this one’s been giving me gip for ages.’  In the event DOCTOR V finished about 7 l ahead of him.  ‘It shows what can be done if you use your loaf,’ he said.

In another race at Wolverhampton BODY P didn’t fancy running against JENNI or another body part – FIDDLER’S ELBOW and self-certed himself out.

TEQUILA BLAZE went to Doncaster for a 3 mile hcp and came 7/14 whilst TWOSHOTSOFTEQUILA also went to Doncaster for a 3 miler (chase) and placed 3rd at 11/4 .  ‘Thought that was a pretty decent effort considering my recent op,’ he said.

CALL ME LORD 9/3 won a hurdle at Hereford.  ‘LA FLEUR PETRUS’ 20/1 aka FLEUR ANGLAISE etc. was a creditable 4th over 1m + at Wolverhampton
JENNY REN finished 8/10 at Wolverhampton whilst WREN OFFICER finished 8/12 at Wincanton at 50/1.
EL PRO runs at Kempton on Boxing day.  Given the time he spent in Madrid you would have thought he would have gone for a Spanish title rather than ‘LE Pro’ a Catalan? or French hash name.  This is a case where the quadruped’s name is more appropriate than the hash name.  So there!
At Wincanton AWSHHOWPOSH won her 3 m hurdle as a good favourite should.  AMERICAN GERRY and BLACK Gerry have been spotted in action or in inaction at some course or other.  More about them later maybe.

Meanwhile if anyone saw a tenner flutter across the tables at Albury Village Hall last week it was a donation from Petal intended for Sister Anna Hash Charity Purse String holder not for finders keepers losers weepers!

Very Happy Christmas
On On
at a lollop
Ld Raleigh

2 December

SH3 & THE FLYING FLEET FOOTED EQUIDS (most of them)

At Chelmsford in a 3m hurdle PIPER S CROSS – was this because nobody invested in his financial schemes ? or was it because as favourite he was beaten into second place ? In the same contest youngster RAMBO T ( no psychedelic leggings ) was competing against oldie 9 yr old HURRICANE HARVEY so no contest there then?

In fact in that match seniority prevailed with HURRICANE HARVEY in 4th place and RAMBO in 6th.

OUR FRIEND MO must have seen a mouse run in front of her as she unseated her rider in a hurdle at Bangor

WALK THE MOON went forth in a 2 mile hurdle at Musselburgh and came fifth at 16/1. ‘It’s warmer on the moon,’ he said.

WALLY has not been seen since last July when he was soundly trounced to come 6/6 at Deauville. Has he called it a day and decided to rest on his laurels after an illustrious career? We don’t think this applies to the biped version as he may not have any laurels to rest on – Indeed the latter is threatening to return to Surrey in a few weeks to give us the benefit of his immense. wisdom!

In a two mile flat race at Lingfield Simon THE SEAGULL finished 9/10 at 100/1. ‘I find it hard to a keep up with the pace these days,’ he said.

DAAFY 20/1 finished down the field Chelmsford  ‘I’ve not recovered from my almost interminable holiday’
he said.

6yr RAFFLES WONDER won no place money but possibly prize money with his 4th in an early race at Aintree. To his credit he ignored Wild Grouse: 25/1 5th!

On the drinks front :-
WHISKEY EXPRESS fav only beat one home at Sandown CHAMPAGNE PRINCE 2/5 won a small race at Newcastle
EVERYDAY CHAMPAGNE was a non runner at Ayr where the going was soft
At Cork CAFE CON LECHE won at 40/1
RUM COVE 125/1 pulled up in an extended hurdle at Exeter
DONT BLAME THE TEQUILA 250/1. was 12/12 in the All Weather at Wolverhampton No surprise there
TWOSHOTSOFTEQUILA was second in a 3m + chase at Catterick in November

Here endeth the drivel, …er I mean flowing prose.

ON ON and a Happy Christmas to all my readers – I have been told I do have some despite being wisely tucked away from the hoi poloi.
At a canter
Ld Raleigh

2 December

THE. TETRAPODS AND SH3

SHEWEARSTHEWELLIES ( Who could that be ?) came in at 4/1 in at Lingfield Her sole runs in the past quarter have now been three wins and a second WAXING GIBBOUS s last run was at Ascot in October where he placed 8th / 11.  However, at Hexham over 3m in heavy going GIBBERWELL was hot favourite but was so intent on well gibbering that he gave the advantage to 9/1 Rostello but deprived GYPSY LEE ROSE of second place by a couple of lengths ENDOSSER went to Kempton for a mile h’ cap.  He said “Considering I tend to plough my own furrow these days not caring a toss about pack order etc I think I did pretty well to come 3rd/8: There s life in the old dog yet !”

GILBERT showed he still no slouch when he came back from the dead to come a close second at Kempton- he was 25/1

FAIR DINKUM won.  So what? Happens to have been foaled by WANNABE POSH( by Australia) Well WANNABE POSH has reached the very respectable of 15 so feels entitled to retire out to graze and contemplate the progress of her progeny GRANDMASTER FLASH (not retired) was 100/1 at Hereford and came 8th/11 In the next race was OOH BETTY who fared considerably better winning her race at 15/2.

At Exeter in a handicap hurdle SWEET CARYLYNE 80/1 aka Olive Oil finished well behind QUEEN ANNIE 3rd. ” At least I was nt pulled like some others”
At Wolverhampton over 7f IVORY. MADONNA perhaps refreshed by a recent holiday in the sun just missed out by a neck at 22/1
FRANCINA having run green in a messy debut in the previous month decided to participate in a 2 m hurdle in the 1st at Fakenham and came 2nd /5
The expensive (£500k?) FRANBERRI competed in a 1m1/2 + h’ cap, at Newcastle to beat fav Gift of Love and PUB CRAWL.
Drinks :-
SHANDY STAR didn’t do as well at Newcastle 12th/12 as he did at Newmarket (heavy)2nd at 22/1
CHAMPAGNE PRINCE beat GROOVY BABY in a 7f dash at Chelmsford. CHAMPAGNE SARAH not seen out since early October at Chelmsford where she finished a creditable 3rd/9 at 18/1.
VINTAGE FIZZ in a 2m1/2 + chase at Ayr finished 2nd /10 at 5/1
SPARKLING RED in a 6 f dash at Newcastle finished 13 /13 at 33/1
In the last at Newbury will 90 yr I mean 9yr old HURRICANE HARVEY have any chance against the relative youngster RAMBO T ? We shall see.
(BTW the latter is guaranteed not to be wearing psychedelic jogging pants!)
GRUMPY MACGRUMPFACE was a non runner. It was thought that if he ran he would scare away the opposition
On On at a canter
Ld Raleigh

13 November

COWBOY COOPER finds it heavy going at Hereford :-
COWBOY COOPER aka .. Gary Cooper – ( Yes! — OITE’S other half ) said “Thought I did well to come 3rd in that shiggy!”

RUM RUNNER in a 7f at Newcastle came 4th behind CHEESE THE ONE but in front of SEE MY BABY JIVE. and HIGHLAND QUEEN.

GRANDMASTER FLASH (Not retired!) formerly invading from Emerald Isle now based in Wales went hurdling at Hereford and finished 5/9. He was 100/1
OOH BETTY 11/1 pulled up in a 2m hurdle at Hereford.
LOVELY MASAR finished 6/9 to FROST at DAWN aka ICY DIP over 7f at Chelmsford improving on her 8th at Lingfield where she was ahead of SWEET SISTER 9th and 10th POPAGEI
MY MATE POLLY aka Speedy Humper aka WILD POLLY ran at but was way down the field to LIGHTENING FLASH MARIAS FLAME AND BOBACIOUS. TEDDY S TRIUMPH certainly was at Santa Anita where he lifted a huge first prize
TEDDY BLUE (GER ) by Sea the Moon out of Tickle Me Blue didn’t have a chance against KNICKERBOCKER GLORY (by Fame and Glory out of Brassy Lady) but at least he didn’t pull up in the shiggy like three others
SIR RODNEY RED BLOOD (Don’t mention bl..
bl..d to him!) ran a decent third at Lingfield in a 6f dash.
SHANDY STAR was 12/12 to 1st SIR MAXI (Rip) and 2nd – MAGICAL MAX!
CHAMPAGNE RHYTHM was 8/11 at Chepstow.
GET ‘EM IN was 8th and last at Ayr. GLASSES UP finished just ahead of PUB CRAWL at Newcastle.

WOODIE FLASH aka Ardon ran in 3+hurdle at Could he cope with EARCOMESBOB
TIME FOR A PINT and the rest?
No worries at all – he was 40+ lengths ahead of the latter (5th) and EARCOMESBOB pulled up!
At Down Royal HARVEY’S QUAY, JOSHUA WEBB and School Lane were competing in a 3m + h’cp chase BB but all finished well down the field. REDD(E)Y(E)S ISLAND doing best in 3rd.
In a chase at Musselburgh HASHTAG LORD finished behind MAGIC MIKE but well in front of  WONDERWEASEL.
GOOD LORD 100/1 finished a street behind heavily odds on fav WILLMOUNT in a hurdle at Newbury.
Finally, WALK ON THE MOON (IRE) aka Moon Walker went forth and came 5th in a hurdle at LISTOWEL.  Quoth he, “That was far enough away these days never mind the moon – Even getting out to parts of Surrey on a Sunday is enough of a challenge. these days.”

ON ON at a canter

Ld Raleigh

6 November

StOP PRESS. ! ! :-
GOODNIGHT OLIVE changes gear to stroll away with a $million+ at Santa Anita Saturday GINA ROMANTICA gets a 4th (& 4% of $2 million) and later PROXY a 3rd (& 9% of
$6 million!) LINDY also ran!
CALL ME ARTHUR & UNCLE ARTHUR were both competing in the same race at Catterick on Tuesday – Neither reached the frame.
PIN BALL WIZARD aka Pinball Wizard ran over a mile at Dundalk and was just beaten by BRAINS aka S*** for B
TWOSHOTSOFTEQUILA sprang a surprise in a chase at Carlisle coming a close second to HELLO JUDGE at 40/1 BREAKING THE ICE pulled up.
We’ve seen KINGSWOOD FLYER. aka Made Marion (Rip ) win twice in recent weeks. A hashing stalwart until his varicose veins got the better of him and a great supporter of the Pilgrim Brewery in Reigate which has become very popular with the hash these days.
At Stratford 4yr old EVER READY was in evidence. Asked why he was so far from home
with little prospect of winning (he was 16/1).
He Replied. “I’m only here for the beer.”
FLASH THE DASH ran at Carlisle to come 7/9.
UPBEAT BETTY was a non -runner at Uttoxeter?
BETTY’S TIARA went forth in a 2m + at Aintree can and came 5th behind 4th JUST CALL ME LUCY.
OOH BETTY runs at Hereford this arvo.
At Huntingdon LITTLE PETER took on EVER READY GUINESSED and HAY UP HARRY in a two mile h’cp and came off best.
In a 3m+ hdle. CHRIS COOL won the race with FOR GINA a gallant second.
FLASHY BOY was 4th
JUST THAT LORD was 4th in a dash at Lingfield.
In a previous bulletin I mentioned the acquisition of ‘hash horse’ MERRY MINISTER. However Cap’n Webb reckoned that this time the bookies had got it right and it really was a 150/1 horse unlike CAPTAIN BENTLEY and therefore not a worthy investment. Time will tell.
ON ON at a canter

Ld Raleigh

29 October

STOP PRESS!

GOSHTOOPOSH and PETTICOAT LUCY BOTH WIN AT Exeter ON TUESDAY.  In the second race third place was filled by ROLYMOLYPOLY.  In the third race by LOUNGE LIZARD.  GOSHTOOPOSH won the 2m 7f hurdle at 11/4.  PETTICOAT LUCY (Aka Chastity Belt) won the 2. 5 m Chase also at 11/4
4 yr CHARLES ST competed in a 2 miler at Ludlow but could not replicate his earlier fine second there, ‘Ah well I was lean and mean then I’ve put a bit of weight on since.  No worries, I’m in serious training now as you can see – out in all weathers.’
BRIAR ROSE aka REEL ROSIE etc was due to run in a 7f at Chelmsford but thought better of it self-certifying herself out of it saying “Friday night is bath night and time for putting one s feet up.”

LADY AMANDA ran in a 6f sprint at Brighton on Sat and finished down the field
I mentioned in a previous bulletin that rascal
CAPTAIN BENTLEY needed watching and, lo and behold, he nearly pulled a stroke at Wolverhampton when after two last place positions at 150/1 he came second at 150/1!

At Pontefract CHASE CUNNINGHAM ran creditably in fourth place @ 9/1 with RUN LIKE THIS finishing nearer last than first in a race won by SIR MAXI 4/1 aka Herr Flick (rip).
Later at Redcar over 6f it was a different story:- 8th of 9rr. “Look with the transport problems I’ve had, it s a wonder I ran at all!”

JENNY REN went for a dash on the All-weather at Wolverhampton but had no chance with the 12/1’winner SEXY REXY but finished ahead of  CHELSEA ANNIE.

WREN OFFICER was 5th/7 in a 6 f ‘dash’ at Brighton JILL ROSE was 50/1 and last.

POPTRONIC impressed at Ascot when beating a quality field at 22/1.  POP THE CHAMPAGNE in a 2m + hurdle. was ahead of FAT SAM and LUCKY LOVER BOY at Exeter but self certified himself out of a race at Goodwood, ‘Just a bit too much shiggy even for me,’ he said.   Sentiments also expressed by 7yr GRANDMASTER FLASH (No, not retired!) who self – certified at Bath.  VIN ROUGE was many lengths behind PEPSIWITHACAP and the rarely appearing 16/1 winner CAWTHORNE CRACKER.

On Saturday at York fav WHISKEY PETE enjoyed the soft going over just short of a mile to romp home ahead of the pack.
Could FLASH BULB bely his fairly dismal record – against PALLAS LORD. CUBAN ROCK etc?  In the event he was sandwiched between the two in 7th.  LUCY LIGHTFOOT was eighth to THANK THE LORD at Brighton in early September. Subsequently THANK THE LORD edged ATTY’s EDGE out of 4th place in a dash at Brighton
IVORY MADONNA placed 2nd in a large field over 7f on the all-weather at Kempton. “Great feeling to complete nearly a mile in under 90 seconds,” he said.
On On
Ld Raleigh

9 October

THE FLYING (Mostly) FOUR LEGGED SH3 (mostly) COUNTERPARTS

At Newton Abbott RAMBO T. (remember him? – at least you cannot forget his psychedelic jogging trousers!) was battling it out with JUST LOOSE CHANGE aka Three and Fourpence or is that 3yr old TEN BOB NOTE (GB) or TEN BOB TONY now? (won at 6/4 at Southwell on Thursday?) – in the event RAMBO T was the winner with JUST LOOSE CHANGE fourth.
LADY CHATTERLEY the latter’s other half ran at Nottingham went forth and justified her odds by finishing 6/7 at 80/1 .Never mind, she s only a 2 year old!
Incidentally I caused some amusement when at the Albury open Air concert I took the human version to be Simon 3/- 4 d’s daughter, though I don’t think she minded.
JENNY REN finished 6/13 at 33/1 at Southwell. Her last win was on St Patrick s day at Wolverhampton.

I never tire of exhorting lovers of ‘greys’ (who in fact are often white) to goog tole JENNY- -Frankfurt which was practically the only inhabitant to enjoy complete freedom of the city during Lockdown.
FLEUR DE MER performed creditably coming third in a Handicap ahead of ALICE K (who the f *** is ALICE?) and ANOTHER RUN at Kempton
MARIE’S SECRET was 4th/11 in a 6f dash at Leicester.  Generally she is in the top end of the field without actually winning.
RUMSTAR finished 7/10 in a top 6f sprint at Royal Ascot.
RUM COCKTAIL competed at the highest level at Royal Ascot in a five f dash and finished in fourth place just behind NYMPHADORA.

Also on the Drinks front :-
JUST ANOTHER BOTTLE (IRE) won the Ladies Day handicap at Ripon
VINTAGE CLARETS 5/1 won a 5f sprint at York
VINTAGE FIZZ could not replicate his fine win early in the month at Bath and finished 6/12 at Market Rasen.
GLASSES UP finished 5/8 in a 10f at Ayr.  Short priced fav JUST SHORT OF A BUBBLE landed a 3 mile chase at Bangor which reminds me of a j..
‘Bill s taking his wife to Wales for the weekend.
To Bangor?
No, just for a walk’

On On
At a a trot
Ld Raleigh

9”SPERAl

3 October

SH3. (mostly ) & The FLYING QUADRUPEDS

In a 2 miler at Compeigne KIT RAFFLES beat LES MOTS BLEUS (Swear words no doubt) and the rest comfortably.  Maybe he enjoyed the very soft going – he certainly seems to enjoy a mud bath!

MR TREVOR won a sprint (3/4:mile a sprint ?)
at Hamilton, ‘I thought I would celebrate my recent birthday by showing people that I can still cut the mustard’

MR SQUIRES. went forth at Newcastle and came fourth where ELDRICK JONES and SLIPPING JIMMY were first and second.  
When I lived in Bookham I would often meet the biped version ‘Curly ‘ (Rip) in the high street of a Saturday and his opening words were invariably “Got any Winners?”  and then when we had compared notes he would often say,  ‘Lord I know I am a sinner but make me a winner!’

At Bath CHERRY COLA carried on the good work displayed by the much esteemed CHERRY (However, being so much esteemed means cramped odds every time and ruinous to follow) – Let s face it in the long run MOST horses are ruinous to follow but some are more ruinous than others!

NAUGHTY ANA (BELLE) aka Fish and Chips has not run for a while but NABUNINA (NOVENAGO) was noted running in Ireland and coming 3rd in an event did the best she had done for a while.

LADY AVA showed what she could do in a sprint at Catterick winning at a 100/30 She said “I will do my 10,000 paces and if the winning post comes before that then well and good.’
LADY MASAR 33/1 came 8/8 at Newcastle but this may have been her first run.
We all know MARTINS BRIG aka LE GRAND FROMAGE etc. sailed a long time ago.  However his 3rd at Newcastle in was his best placing for some time.
PRESENTING PETE 7/2 won at Uttoxeter but as 7/4 favourite pulled up at Catterick.
ASK PETER couldn’t replicate two previous wins at Hamilton and came 3/7.
As often I met Peter Ling aka RAINMAN in Dorking on Friday says grandson PIN ball Wizard (now in Canada) aka PINBALL WIZARD, and spouse. have produced a great granddaughter Jemma (with a J note).
POP MASTER 12/1 having knocked at the door on several occasions got his head in front beating BIGGLES THE WIZARD of EYE and the rest at Newbury.
Whilst POP DANCER scored at least once in September in a sprint at Brighton.
SARAHS VERSE could have done worse in a sprint at Leicester finishing 4/11?
DUNCAN OF Scotland’s has not been out for some time but KING of SCOTIA 25/1was 4/12 at Newmarket.
LUCY LIGHTFOOT was 50/1 in a sprint at Lingfield and as at Brighton was nearer last than first.  She was heard to say, “But hang on surely the important thing is the taking part.’
At Listowel CHARLIES PRIDE 4/1 favourite went forth in a two mile hurdle and came fourth.
Perhaps mention should be made of a New ‘Hash Horse’ a 3yr old which has seen the winners enclosure at least once in its life MERRY MINISTER by Churchill out of Merry Me his performance at Kempton in a 7 f was not spectacular (11th and last) even if his price was 125/1! Lets he hope makes the improvement in the same way as that shown recently by CAPTAIN BENTLEY twice last at huge odds and then placed at huge odds!
On On
at a canter
Ld Raleigh

25 September

SH3 & THEIR FLEET FOOTED COUNTERPARTS (mostly )

CAPTAIN  BENTLEY SWOOPS AT REDCAR !

Having exhorted readers of my last missive to keep an eye on the aforementioned rascal, some 48 hours earlier I peruse todays results at Redcar to discover that CAPTAIN BENTLEY  stone last at a week ago has swept in under the radar at a mere 50/1 ! 

OH NO he hasn’t  !  What I thought was the result was a frozen race card with the aforementioned at no 1 position with odds of 50/1.  His final position ? 8/8 at 150/1.  Oh dear – the Epsom Downs of racing !
At Doncaster CATCH CUNNINGHAM aka CL ? was caught by the  WHOLE field before redeeming himself somewhat at Ayr by coming 6th/20 at 33 s with  SIR MAXI 4th at 14/1.
In a mile handicap at Brighton the 4/1 MICK S DREAM was beaten by 10/11 favourite  UNCLE DICK –  by a nose.
Also at Brighton RUNNER BEAN declared herself a non -runner – ‘ I didn’t want to rush the healing process –  SHALL BE BACK very soon indeed  as good as new – don t you worry.”
PETE THE BRIEF – who could that be? and WHISKEY PETE were both out on Wednesday the latter tipped by an ex-champion jockey was backed into the ground and could only finish 3rd.
GRANDMASTER FLASH  has NOT retired and is still making raids on UK soil with some placings to his name.  Rumour has it that he is now stabled in Wales.
HEAVENS TO BETSY went forth in a 2 miler at Kempton but could only finish 8/8 with ATLANTIS BLUE in third place.
LOVELY MASAR went for a  dash  well nearly a mile at Beverley and finished eighth  well behind Local Arms and Hug a Tree (quite a forecast that) and only managed to beat one home 40/1 Liz’s Kitten, “Well this sport is’nt supposed to be competitive is it ? ” she was heard to say.
SAISONS D’OR aka FLEUR DE MER etc went for a 7 furlong dash at Newcastle where she beat RAVEN’S APPLAUSE for 5th place.  GIVE IT SOME  TEDDY 4/1 romped in at Chester but could only finish 14/15 at Newmarket a week later.  The preceding race was won by BEAR ON THE LOOSE 3/1.  Second was previous two in a row winner PEARL EYE 7/2.  
One must remember that there are other BEARS who on occasion run with Surrey   LITTLE BIG BEAR aka Little Brown Bear ? and Bare Bear aka Becky – offspring of Zig A Zig  ?  aka 8 yr  ZIG ZAG ZYGGY( IRE) and The BEAR (Rupert wbh3).
On On at a canter
Ld Raleigh

15 September

SH3 & THE FLYING TETRAPODS (Well some of them)
RUNNER BEAN GOES TO BATH! Whilst about a third of the field cried off producing veterinary certificates etc. heroically shrugging off an injury to her left fore fetlock or was it the right fore fetlock? RUNNER BEAN participated in a mile at 40/1 and finished 8/8. well behind EYE OF THE WATER in 5th.  ‘Better to have tried and lost than not try at all,’ she said. ‘I Shall be back as good as new don t worry – Next stop Kempton.’
LUNA MAGIC seems to be specialise in non-running these days. And LUNA? About the same.
LUCY LOCKETT was only beaten 1/2 length in a 7f event finishing ahead of DAINTY LADY and well ahead of GOLDMINE GIRL
In a sprint Newcastle POLLY THE ROCKET aka Speedy.aka Polly Garter etc beat HURRAH FOR HAZEL aka FLEUR IRLANDAISE etc. for third place.
POPTRONIC 25/1 8th in the prestigious Yorkshire Oaks beat a 6/1 and a 14/1 home
POPMASTER 14/1 was only beaten a neck by the hardy Quinault at Ascot.
However POPDANCER waltzed in at at 4/1 In a Brighton sprint
SAILTHISHIPALONE won at at 9/4.

On the drinks front –
CHAMPAGNE SARAH was 2nd at 11/1 to DASHING DICK at Newmarket with SHANDY STAR was behind in 5th
At Bangor 200/1 CHAMPAGBE FIZZ pulled up in the hurdle but later VINTAGE FIZZ won a chase at 7/1.
WHISKEY PETE (IRE) in the Oakflooringman’s stakes (I kid you not ) at Haydock finished 3rd well (33+?) lengths ahead of BATMANZOR (FR) 125/1
LENNY’S Spirit(FR) aka Ardon Provocateur 9/2 went for a straight mile at Ascot and finished 7/11.
ASK PETER in the Ministry of Sound 2m handicap at Chelmsford finished down the field at 10l.
JUSTCALLME PETE having finished 10/11 at Goodwood earlier in the month he managed to finish 1/10 at Chelmsford at 11/2.
WALLY based in France has spent far too much time in the uk consorting with ‘the old enemy’.
His last run was a reprehensible 6th/6 at Deauville in July perhaps early next year one will see a Spring in his step and more action.

RAY VONN aka Sir Ray who was 3rd @33/at Newmarket was 100/30 favourite to win on Monday at Southwell was 7th well ahead of LADY NAGIN and JILL ROSE but several lengths behind SIR RODNEY REDBLOOD (Don’t mention bl. .bl…to him) in 3rd.
BRIAN THE SNAIL pulled a stroke today in a sprint at Brighton romping in at 11/2. Not bad for an 80 yr old I mean 8 yr old beating ATTY S EDGE into third place with GIDDY AUNT in last.
He didn’t tell me CAPTAIN BENTLEY has been keeping a very low profile these days but after a 60 day break went to Chepstow where he finished 7/7a 50/1. Watch him!

ON ON at canter
Ld Raleigh

30 August

HA TOSS narrowly missed out going down by a head at Windsor.
SARAH S Verse was 5th at Bath.
RAVENGLASS finished down the field at Beverley and Brighton.
GILBERT (Rip) came back from the dead and nearly sprang another surprise at 11/1
GREY FOX aka Alan Wells (Rip) lay low at Windsor.

Drinks :-
WHISKEY AND WATER has run twice recently without hitting the frame.
SIMPLY RED did the business in the at followed by FLAT WHITE in the next.
TEDDY BLUE not out for a while since he was second to Black Poppy.
It was gratifying to see that Teddy Bear aka SIR RODNEYREDBLOOD (never mention bl.. Bl.. d to him!) had had his front door painted a glorious shade of ROYAL Blue (he will probably. say it was Prussian) easily the most sightly door in the street.

Talking about matters Regal we note that 3yr old ROYAL DREAM won Friday 4th in the last at Wolverhampton.

King Charles’s Coronation is but a distant memory – Ascot’s Coronation Stakes won by the Agha Khan’s Tahiyra is also long gone.

I cast my mind back (Old people tend to do this ‘Cast their minds back ‘ – reminisce) to our noble Queen’s Coronation 1953 (I was watching proceedings up a tree bordering the route at Green Park or was it the Mall?) and in that glorious procession in the teeming rain totally oblivious to the elements the Enormous Majestic Magnificent and Beaming Queen Salote Of Tonga was waving radiating bonhomie and good will to all and sundry in an open carriage. A friend turned to Noel Coward and said, “Yes – but who is that little man sitting next to her’
‘That’s her lunch,’ replied Noel.

ON ON
At the Paddock

Ld Raleigh

15 August
RUMRUNNER SPRINGS A SURPRISE AT CATTERICK

AMLETO aka Hamlet Bkh3 (Last seen In company of FUkawe) was favourite in the 1st race at Goodwood but was no match for THE GOAT which won at 25/1.

3 Yr HAMLET (IRE) was due to run at Redcar on Sat but was able to dodge the race with the aid of a vet’s certificate.

RUMRUNNER won at 10/1 at Catterick.  ‘That was no surprise to me’, quoth RUMRUNNER.  ‘I am a good all rounder you know.’

Meanwhile 28/1 RUMSTAR in a 27 runner race at Goodwood had an argument with his rider and unseated him.  FLEUR DE MER aka FLEUR IRLANDAISE etc. was perhaps a little unlucky not to pull off an 8/1 win at finishing gallant 2nd whilst SAISONS D’OR just managed a place in a 14 runner h’ cap a Newcastle’.  She has placed in her last 4 races.

AMAZING ARTHUR took a keen hold early on in a sprint at Market Rasen but then faded to the back of the field.

IVORY MADONNA 8/11 went forth in sprint at Lingfield and came fourth.

WALK THE MOON said, ‘I find it a bit dry there but it s probably doing me good whereas at the course there’s too much of a good thing.’  He was 9/9 recently at Brighton.

ON the drinks front :-
CHAMPAGNE SARAH aka BALLISTA aka SARAH’S VERSE etc. went for a sprint at Newmarket and finished 2nd to DASHING DICK.  ‘I shouldn’t have had that extra glass,’ she said.

SPARKLING RED never showed at Brighton.  DRINK DRY was 2nd / 8 at Brighton.  GLASSES UP could not replicate his previous win at Ayr and as favourite came 2nd/13 at Musselbrugh.

In a sprint at Bath BRIAN THE SNAIL and ELEGATE THIS LORD had no answer to JENEVER aka DO YOu? aka JENNY WREN.  ICE MAX won at Catterick as a 5/6 fav should.  GREAT MAX 10/1 was 6/7 at Chelmsford.

WALLY, was last out beginning of July in Deauville where he finished down the field.  MR TREVOR Mon Ayr has been out of form this season with less weight.  Could he emulate his successes in August last year?  A: – No – not so far!

The very expensive FRANBERRI decided to take the sea air she prefers to attend a sprint at Yarmouth and as short priced favourite fav came 2nd/4.

2yr LADY CHATTERLEY. aka MRs  ThreeandFourPence (or is that 10/- now?) debuted? over 7f at Lingfield and came home 9/10 @ 50/1.

And RATFACED MCDOUGALL?  No Idea.  last seen out at Stratford where 4th/6.  Perhaps he was running against HAMLET
or KING LEAR (running today 3:30 Nottingham).

ON ON
At a canter
Ld Raleigh

25 July

Having mentioned SEYMOUR PROMISE’S debacle at Newton Abbot last time I omitted to mention that other half TWIG had distinguished herself with two consecutive wins at Uttoxeter one over hurdles and the other in a 3m+chase. MRS TWIG(IRE) 4th last time runs at Leicester tomorrow.
DRiNKS:-
TEQUILAMOCKINGBIRD was 2nd/7 at Kempton having been 2/9 in June.  GUINNESS AFFAIR won at Newton Abbot, 2nd was MAGISTRATO aka The MAgistate ..(. RHUM’s b o.t.s)  RUM COCTAIL (fav) and CHAMPAGNE SARAH went head to head in a sprint at Yarmouth Fri where the former  prevailed.
VIN ROUGE went forth at Uttoxeter and came fifth.  POP THE CHAMPAGNE 20/1 finished 5th behind QUEEN EMMA and ahead of DEBBIE’S DELIGHT 125/1 in 9th at Lingfield, ‘Blooming cheek making me that price.  I was lengths of a 6/1 shot,’ said the latter.
MR RUMBALICIOUS was due to run in a hurdle at Cartmel on Saturday but thought better of it.  ‘Things to do, concerts to go to.’
DOUGIES DREAM wins at Doncaster on Fri at 9/1. 

POPTRONIC 12/1 won at Haydock his first win in over a year. LORDSHIP won at & LORD PROTECTOR won at but they didn’t tell me
LITTLE Jo having done most of her running oop north seems to have MOVED — to the Emerald Isle?  She finished 14th /16 at Bellewstown at 14/1 whilst WINKLEVI ( prob the nearest we’ll get to ‘WAnkelSplitz ) 810 Chepstow Mon was thought quite capable of making his presence felt & in the event didn’t.  Another at Windsor was TREVOR aka TOSS THE HAT CORPORAL JONES HEY JONESEY etc – again no joy.
“Hang on I’ve had a lot on my plate laying trails, catering to the many, etc. you don’t expect us to win races as well do you?”
At Windsor in the third race CHERRY was hot hot 4/11 favourite but was only 3rd with DEBBY S DELIGHT 33/1 down the field.
LADY AVA aka EVa RAtty etc. ran in dash – 7f a dash? at Brighton and came 2nd in the 6:30.
WALK THE MOON was seen running at Haydock evg meeting Fri over a mile 2f h’cap.
‘Think I’d rather keep to Moonwalking quite frankly he said ‘however there are more beer tents at Haydock’
In the ‘LEE Sanitation handicap’ at Newbury ATALANTA BREEZE finished well down the field at 22/1. ‘I left my effort just a bit a bit too late ‘ she said.  ROCKET RODNEY aka GIVE IT SOME TEDDY, etc. was competing against LOOKING FOR LYNDA, etc. on Fri and came 2nd whilst TEDDY BOY was fancied to win a 5f sprint at Bellewstown but didn’t and came 5/15.   ‘Hang on I am getting on a bit as an 80 year I mean 8 year old running against 3 year olds so that wasn’t a bad performance.’
Finally RUNNER BEAN aka MIss BEan 28/1 ran over 7f in the 730 Brighton Tues and is probably still running.

ON ON!
At speed
Ld Raleigh

2 July - SH3 & Their SWIFT MOVING (mostly) OPPOS

BRIAN THE SNAIL aka LOOKSNOWTLIKE BRIAN LORD BRYAN (by Zebedee out of Rough Courte) etc. came out of his shell to spring a 9/1 surprise in a sprint at Ripon showing he was still no slouch at age of 79- er… I mean 9, but then went back to his old ways at Newbury to finish 8/9. “Hey!” he exclaimed, (or was it “Heh heh heh”?) “I suffered a sciatic spasm in my left fore fetlock. I thought I did well to finish the race”
Newcomer LUNA MAGIC aka LUna came 4th at Newbury and then made a rapid reappearance (i.e. the following day) to win as 9/4 fav at Chepstow.
At Chelmsford in a 5f sprint MICK’S SPIRIT 7th was behind SIR.RODNEYREDBLOOD (don t mention Bl**Bl**d to him!) but in front of TOMSHALFBROTHER in 8th.
DAAFY hasn’t been out since late April but hot favourite at Ascot, LITTLE BIG BEAR came 2nd with RUMSTAR some lengths behind in 6th.
NIKELSONTHEDIME in a 2m + hurdle came second at Newton Abbot where in a later race a h ‘cap Chase over 3m+SEYMOUR PROMISE 9/4 fav came 2/4.
What s in a name?
8 yr AHORSEWITHNONAME(GB) triumphed in a valuable race at Ascot.
GIVE IT SOME TEDDY came 5/8 in a straight mile at Redcar.
ICY DIP (by Stimulation out of Inya Lake.) aka COol BOx went for an evening sprint at Lingfield and finished 9/17. “Hey (or was it….?) I’ve done some good races recently. You don’t expect me to win every time do you?”
WALLY was last seen out in May in the Grand Prix de Bordeaux where he was 3rd behind WATCH HIM! but in front of SAY GOOD BUY!
DRINKS DRINKS DRINKS:-
VIN ROUGE had its best run for a long time winning a 2 mile+ hurdle at Newton Abbot a15/2.
CHAMPAGNE SARAH has been thriving winning sprints at Newbury and Yarmouth.
JUST ANOTHER BOTTLE 9/1at Ripon won a sprint handicap beating Strike RED into 2nd place.
VINTAGE CLARETS showed them the way home in a 5f sprint at Chester.
MOONSHINE SPIRIT. aka MOONWALKER couldn’t beat SOSSIFIED but finished 3rd ahead of ONE MAN PARTY & ATLANTIC BREEZE (PU).
Finally, what ever happened to RATFACEDMCDOUGALL? Perhaps we shall know next time.
ON ON !
at a canter
Lord Raleigh

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