The Runday Shag
Date: 12 November 2023
Hare: Doug the Tub & Mrs. Robinson
Venue: Witley Station
On On: The Crown, Chiddingfold
DOUG SHOWS US HOW TO BE ORIGINAL EVEN IN WELL-KNOWN TERRITORY
After the Silence Atalanta said “We usually start from here by using the railway bridge”, and so it was. Last week’s trail and this had us start and finish at a railway bridge. Speaking of the Silence, do you suppose Wally finds those 2 minutes the most difficult of the year? Today, as ever, he was vocal about Surrey’s calling; he cannot grasp that when everyone can see where to go, calling is needless.
Well, the trail did indeed begin with a check in the usual place, with the usual solution (found by a speedy visitor today), but thereafter we were in territory new to me, an original and entertaining trail. We checked for a long time outside a stately home, where Popeye joined us from heaven knows where. He said that if I could solve the check he would eat his hat, and indeed the solution took us briefly in a direction we all knew to be the wrong way; very ingenious. Popeye’s hat goes uneaten.
So, a right-hander, although the start for a while suggested the reverse, with plenty of new scenery, and changes of direction. We had a fair turn-out: Birthing Blanket had feared too many of us would be with Old Coulsdon. CL and I chose New Road to park, but most preferred to spend £3-50 at the station. When we got back J. Arthur had to admit he had left the key to the beer with Dr Death, which seems strange: J. Arthur is one of our fastest hashers, and though Dr Death strides along rapidly, he makes a point of never running.
Atalanta was first in; RHUM and Popeye were not that far behind. Speedy Humper keeps up very well. But I am probably omitting other stalwarts, glimpsing those ahead of me only occasionally.
The latter part of the trail had very few checks, though earlier there had been plenty, including a hair-pin back check just where the shiggy was at its most moist. Rain had been threatened, but held off; altogether a very pleasant morning, with three or four visitors discovering how SH3 takes its pleasures.
As usual the visitors tended to be younger, fitter and faster than we are: we need more such if Surrey is to survive as a hash, and I here acknowledge the excellent contribution to our future made by those who invite or encourage visitors.
It was disconcerting to find even among Surrey hashers, though very sensibly anonymous, someone subscribing to the Braverman and Express approach to the distressed who reach our shores. It is true even recent arrivals here become critical of those following them in; Bangladeshis for instance were hostile to Somali arrivals in Whitechapel.
Not one of us is descended from the earliest inhabitants of these lands. Immigrants should be welcome in any community. They are generally young, active, eager to work, and a blessing to our economy. Care homes in Surrey are staffed almost exclusively by incomers (often Filipino); they accept the minimum wage, which the locals reject. As I wrote earlier, illegal boat landings would stop overnight if Home Office staff scrutinised at Calais those without passports; it is true they would have to be faster, more efficient, than their colleagues here. Hostility to foreigners who arrive here is nothing new, I admit; Gilbert and Sullivan satirised this attitude long ago (“He remained an Englishman!”) Where we do well is in marriages between races: there are far more such unions here than in most countries, and especially when compared to the USA.
On On, FRB
Letters to the Editor
The Beatles are at no. 1 in the singles chart and The Rolling Stones are no.1 in the album chart.
How far did we turn our clocks back last month?
Your no. 1 fan,
University of Woke Ing
As someone who has thrived his entire life on the public purse, I shall be happy to learn of any more initiatives that your members can dream up to spend other people’s money on. People keep telling me that governments will eventually run out of other people’s money, but there is always more. After all, the current Prime Minister spaffed several billion up the wall during COVID by authorising paying people to “not work” at home, to buy PPE from his colleagues’ mates and to roll out “experimental” vaccines, not only on those who might need them, but also to millions who did not, and they are still peddling them! There were also unlimited funds to provide millions of kits for those who were inclined to put sticks up their noses before they opened the front door while wearing useless wet rags across their faces. So, we can keep borrowing from those who are employed in productive activities and from their children and grandchildren to impress the world with how great we are at not doing anything interesting like travelling, keeping warm when the sun isn’t shining or the wind isn’t blowing. We took the homeless off the streets during the pandemic, but now we can find room for all the distressed foreigners who are flocking to our shores.
Tuch E Feely PhD
I do not concur with my boss’s use of the word “distressed”. I believe that the truly distressed cannot reach these shores. Those who do get here don’t look very distressed to me as they board the RNLI ferries with their mobile phones, having destroyed their passports.
I am also worried that once new routes of entry are established, those with mal intent (e.g. terrorists seeking to impose their culture on us) will “ride the wave”.
Yours, etc. Isaac Hunt, (Prof Feely’s PA)
At last a great hash!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Even Uncle Gerry who is currently gallivanting around the world might approve? After various fiascos recently, The Bugler had dictated that people like Rumbold, Atlantic Ocean and Hash Crash went on a Hair Raising Clinic.
But the Doug the Pug and Mrs Robinson’s trail may have changed this. There was plenty of flour with arrowed parts where they need to be, a mixture of woods and open country, it was the right length and what a fantastic pub (Cheating Lingus regaled us with how he had been here many times and he liked it!?)
So now “there is a solution in hand” (quote by Master Bates).
Just issue the Doug The Pug route as a template to all would be hares and the problem is solved.
Life gets better.
Mite E B Mierhs?
International Man of Mystery
Langkawi, Nov 2023
Rampant crime in Malaysia. One of the pictured suspects stole an apple, a packet of peanuts, and a tube of Pringles, and would also have got away with a Bounty bar and a can of beer if he had not dropped them in his need to avoid capture. This matter has been reported to the local police. What is the animal kingdom coming to? I hope Raffles has been brought up on a code of honesty.
Disgusted of Langkawi.
Ed: I hear bananas are particularly vulnerable, so stay safe!
Plea from the Editor
Thoughts please. It has been a bit of a tradition in recent times for our scribe’s offerings to end in a coda that veers off into matters of politics, philosophy, economics (PPE at the Other Place), health and general well-being. Most of these topics are interesting and uncontroversial BUT politics is another matter. Only this Sunday, in the post-run circle, RHUM made a sensible observation about the sad state of youngsters’ awareness of the meaning of Remembrance Sunday and he was berated by someone in the crowd for bringing politics into the hash. I visited the memorial to the Death March in Sandakan not long ago and heard a local person utter respectfully “Lest we forget” and I was extremely moved and comforted that memories of such horrors are being kept alive today for the greater good all over the world.
SOOOO…. Would you like us to stick to philosophy or will you like to add your comments to the matters raised to spark some lively debate? Let me know at email@example.com. In the absence of your input, I am happy to provide some contrary views for the sake of balance. It doesn’t always mean that I agree with what I write!