The t(r)oast of Le Pro

Hashers, Harriettes, and Le Pro,

We apparently we are to celebrate Robbie Burns — poet, pisshead, and professional bad influence — a man who slept around, mocked authority, and proved if you drink hard enough and die young, people will call it genius.

Burns believed all men were created equal.
Which is why today, even Le Pro is treated just like the rest of us.
Despite years of effort, opinions, Burns would have still taken one look at Le Pro and said:
‘Aye… same mess, just louder.’

Le Pro presents us today with the sacred haggis: A steaming bag of mystery meat: a dish invented to prove the Scots would eat literally anything
as long as it’s hot, brown, and of course, served with whisky.

The haggis is dragged out with ceremony, stabbed for tradition,
and applauded despite very few actually liking it –
much like Le Pro when he was an RA.

Like Le Pro, the haggis looks confident and vaguely appealing on the outside
but raises questions once open.

The haggis will be washed down with whisky —
a drink so strong it makes Burns sound profound
and makes Le Pro’s opinions loud and believe he has yet again nailed it with the Surrey hash for another year

So raise your glasses,
shout words you don’t understand,
spill drink on someone else, preferably Le Pro,
and remember the true message of Burns :

Man to man, the world o’er,
we’re all equal…
but Le Pro is buying the first round……..