The hares were very lucky with the weather on Sunday morning, bright and sunny, no fog like the previous day, but if it was foggy it would’ve explained why the hares started the run from the wrong car park!

  So half the pack were in the correct car park and the rest of us in the wrong one, but worryingly the Beermaster was in the correct car park, luckily they were only 69 steps apart.

  We were honoured to have Layby join us today, despite her loss, she was in good spirits and everyone was so pleased to see her and give her a hug.  She said that in true Chipmonk style, he was joking with the nurses right up until his heart gave way, what a legend, he will be sorely missed. 

  Tequil’over started the party early today, he sneakily set up a bar behind the Bongo, offering hot toddies, at one point he had half the pack with him!

  The “wrong” car park was very busy, as a “German Shepherd” dog group turned up, so we were serenaded with dogs annoyingly barking.

  Before we set off, one of hares, Velcro, departed as she had the better offer of her granddaughter’s birthday party!  Now you would have thought that the perfect birthday present for a 10 year granddaughter would be to drag her out of bed at 7.30 on a Sunday morning to set a trail, rather than a pub lunch!

  So the GM called a start circle, but was rudely interrupted by a phone call from the beermaster informing her we were all in the wrong car park, and reminded her, he has the beer, selfish!

  The now solo hare, Dormouse, informed us (despite barking dogs) the trail will be 4.5 miles, and long and nice & easy! BUT, there is one cross “X”, but as it was Dormouse we all forgave him, for now.  We set off and immediately the trail made its way round the lake and onto the “Correct” carpark, where we found our first check.

  Simple shot off ahead but the wrong way, I, yes me, found the flour heading in the opposite direction to him.  Doug the Tub, the checking chicken, and FRB accompanied me through woods but we were aware that worryingly nobody actually followed us, they obviously thought that I could not possibly be correct, and waited for one of the real front runners to solve the check!

  The trail continued through the lovely, but very slippery woods, the shiggy was “full on” today, luckily I had my £30 waterproof socks on, but when I informed RHUM and Simple they said they are great but once the water gets in them, it stays in, so you are effectively giving your feet a cold bath!  [Ed: try waterproof shoes for a similar price! ]

  We were going great, ducking and diving through the woods, slipping and sliding, the pack was kept together with the clever checks, until the latecomers caught up, and came upon the Cross, X !  This totally threw them because they had missed the hare talk. Once we’d caught up with them we informed them of the strange hieroglyphics.

  Now, half way round the trail, we the front runners (yes I was with them!) came across an arrow (marked “short cut”) pointing back in the direction we had just come from, so this is where we ran around like headless chickens for a while, and argued as to who, where and why, you know, the usual conversations.

  At this point I did look for flour but failed, but then I was informed that the car park was just at the end of this particular footpath, so I did the right thing and took half the pack with me back to the car park!  Well I never heard the front runners call “on”, we had run 3 miles, so what’s a girl to do?!

  Luckily our “Ed” did the second half of the trail, so over to him to describe the rest of the full trail !  [Ed: unfortunately another group of us including our esteemed GM, DTT and Mrs Robinson, did much the same as you, although we went round the route a cople of times ending up back at the “SC”!  See J Arthur’s trail below which looks a better effort, although it resulted in DELAYED BEER.]

  We got back to the car park about 30 minutes before the rest of the pack.  Actually, the pack I was with got back before the hare who was laying the shortcut!

  I observed while we waited patiently I’ve never seen so many miserable faces as they waited for the beermaster to return.  But the hare did provide crisps and cakes to help. E  ventually the front runners returned, AND from the correct direction!  The beermaster drove his car round to the “wrong” car park and the fun began.  As far as I can remember, the GM gave a toast to Chipmonk, birthday down down to Lord Raleigh, who at the time was chatting to some cyclists who had stopped to say hello to him, but we rudely told them to shut up so they buggered off, probably not amused.  She called in the “Charlie’s Angels” which she described as front running ladies, so Ms Bean, Atalanta, and myself were called in and of course Stevie Blunder as he has more hair than me and looks like a girl (dragged backwards).  Thanks GM for including me in the group of front runners, I’m honoured!

  A down down was given to the solo hare, but not before Ms Bean shared her opinion of where the trail went wrong, which no one listened to and awarded her a down down.  Our guest RA today was Scud, he reminded us the last time he was RA was back in 1995, (“too soon” shouted Teq) and the pack was exactly the same hashers!  Much to my and Poshie’s delight he actually poured out his own down downs, a trend I think we could adopt going forward !

  He left one of the cups empty and gave this to the beermaster, because he had to wait half an hour for him to turn up.

Atalanta, our highlighter for..

FRB, for some un PC comment, Teq had to stand him as he had already left (there’s a surprise!).

  He handed out lots of downs down including me, but can’t remember why, finally he awarded “irritating git of the week” to Stevie Blunder, no explanation needed!

  We retired to the pub, the sun was still warm so we rearranged the patio furniture and enjoyed beer (but not the wine, is that right ladies?) Hash chips were provided.  All in all a perfect hash day.

  On On, Chunderos

PS  On the way back to the wrong car park I had a strange conversation with Arfur Pint and Mo (Turn on) who informed me that when they get back to the car park they are going to “change their feet into something.” Presumably they meant “from flippers to feet” ?