A dryish day after a week or more or less continual downpours led a good-sized pack to appear at the Gracious Pond car park in normal hashing attire of wet suits and snorkels.  The fact that the both hares had willies, sorry wellies, did not bode well for the state of the trail.  Speaking of hares, it would appear the No Nookie had taken one look at the state of the ground underfoot and thought ‘bugger this’, so SBJ was roped in to stand in and assist Bonn Bugle in her stead.

  At precisely 10:58 the pack squelched off, and after a couple of hundred metres we were confronted with a check next to large security fence, so it was back through the car park (no doubt to the amusement of the hares) and off in the opposite direction!

  It was what you call an eco-trail, making sure to preserve the environment by an economical use of flour, but the pack was pretty much together as it headed in the general direction of Chobham Common.  Tosser, as usual, found a better trail and headed off in a completely random direction only to be seen again at the bucket.  The remainder of the pack ploughed, on with some light direction from Bonn Bugle.  But then things started to go wrong….

  As usual I was with the energy-preservation end of the pack, but bizarrely decided not to take the SCB route when a split appeared.  So, Laphroaig, Blue Suit and myself headed off, still on trail, still in the direction of Chobham Common, when the FRBs appeared from a completely different direction.  The pack flock milled around muttering “Baa, Baa”, until SBJ appeared to clarify the situation, and we all set off down the path the FRBs had just used. So off we ran (yes even me) past some very confused security guards at a very posh house, [owned by a Sheikh] across some very pleasant open countryside, back to the SCB split, where we all took the SCB trail.  It seems the front runners had done the loop in reverse….. stupid buggers.

  The run continued across the common, back across the road and eventually skirted Gracious Pond back to the bucket, where the three of us who had managed to do the run as intended basked in self-congratulatory glory. Hash disorganisation at its finest and didn’t we all enjoy it!

  Uncle Gerry called the circle to order at around 12:45 and down-down to the hares, and Yorkie, and our trio of young gazelles!

  Belcher began his bit with some jokes, and proceeded to award additional DDs to Dr Death, Bonn Bugle, Masterbates & Arfur Pint for various infractions, some of which concerned being able to wash once again!  On the topic of jokes. let me say that in my humble opinion jokes should be told in person, preferably to some suitably lubricated hashers, in the pub or at the circle, not circulated stone cold sober on the internet!  So let’s keep up with the jokes!  They were terrible jokes however, and should be celebrated as such (speaking as a dad)!

  On On,

  Machinist