The Runday Shag

Issue 2517

Date:        14 April 2024

Hare:        Legolas (joint with OCH3)

Venue:     7th Furlong, Epsom Racecourse

On On:     The Derby Arms


  Legolas described her trail as a sausage, circumference 4.5 miles.  I decided this meant 75 minutes (which in the event proved spot on), so after 40 minutes, run very largely on the usual Surrey trail from this car park, I said to J. Arthur (who agreed) “We are about to turn sharp left”.  This was almost true, except that the turn was sharp right: we came back by a quite different and less familiar route.  Not without a challenge: the trail took us through a demolition site, whose custodian wanted none of us.  But the hare sweet-talked him into being more amenable.

  Previous Surrey hares on these downs have taken us through part of the memorial to Verdun and WW1, but not the photogenic cluster of vertical timbers enriched by verse, nor the field of statues, so this was original and well worth while.  Obviously in the end the return trail rejoined territory we knew; Chunderos even went on the slide in the children’s playground.  Well, we did have Velcro’s grand-daughter, Daisy, with us.  However, Legolas then found a way to take us near the grandstand; now, in a world where no rules are permitted, we each make our own rules, and one of mine is “With the car park in sight, forget flour and just get there!”  So I forswore the twists and turns the hare had dreamed up, and thus got in before the real front runners, who had proved more docile.  Well, only 2 or 3 minutes before them; Peay acted as I did.  We had some of Old Coulsdon’s harriers with us; one was heard to say he had run 6 miles by the time we got back, which suggests a remarkably unsuccessful approach to checking. In the past I have been accused as hare of gazing towards the solution; certainly Logolas did that today, which made solving checks easier.  She even told Randy Pandy, at that moment the only hasher anywhere near the solution, to go further left, though by the time he did so others had got there.

  Master Bates said he had found this car park as difficult to reach as the notes explaining how to get there had predicted, which seems mysterious; it is true MB sailed past the entrance and came to a barrier, finding the (needless) instructions for opening it incomprehensible.

  When Asterix is in England, a woman there says “I cook all my food in boiling water: I find this gives everything an exquisite taste!”.The joke was out of date, as culinary preferences here had moved on when this was published, but it reflects Continental assessments of our approach to cooking. It was also over-generous to us; in those bad old days nobody spoke of cooking, and certainly did not expect anything “exquisite”.Most of you will remember the dreadful food of our childhood; it would be interesting to trace how we opened up to French, Italian, Indian, Chinese, Japanese, Mexican, cooking. Who persuaded us? Travel? Elizabeth David? We had once known good food here; in medieval times our diet was the same as in the rest of Europe (mind you, the Scots, Irish, even Welsh, have always had their own specialities). I suppose garlic was one of the last ingredients to be accepted; I am sure you will recall the widespread distaste for garlic, which was regarded, scornfully, as French and contemptible. Conversation at table has changed too; now we comment on the flavours and ingredients served, as for the wine: we did not when I was young.
  On On, FRB

Letters to the editor

I am glad to see Surrey Hash looking as young as ever, despite wearing spectacles to enhance seeing the trail…and great coats to ward off the arctic cold temperature of Surrey.
Back in the day, I disagreed with the rumour that Uncle G always set the same run around Leatherhead, and, as this latest run is nowhere near Leatherhead, I rest my case. (Those of you who know or remember yours truly will recollect me as a fit athlete and respect memories of my superb geographical knowledge of Surrey. Disbelievers may question I have any idea of Leatherhead’s location, and say I never RAN but simply walked each Sunday). This is why history is constantly being questioned and rewritten.

Happy Birthday Petal. You still look gorgeous.

I, although being absent from the event, award it my vote as RUN OF THE YEAR.

How I miss all of you.
FO Carole.

Athletic?  But fit, yes!

Dear On Sec

I humbly proffer my apologies for dereliction of duty. However my brother in law is to blame for rearranging the bodywork and internal sensors of my poor Mini. Mini doesn’t look too bad.  Her bonnet and grilles are a little battered but her poor memory has gone beserk. 

She thinks her lights aren’t working or the boot is not locked and latterly that she needs a service (don’t we all!!!). Mini is clearly of unsound mind and body and long journeys are clearly inadvisable.  Mini is being resigned to the hash car in the sky but Mini (maxi) is currently being built in Germany to such exacting standards that she won’t be available until end June. 

In the meantime I’ll be scrounging lifts where possible to attend to my duties.


I hope she doesn’t reflect the state of her owner…  Perhaps she needs her sump draining?

And from our leader…

I was reading the RS and my granddaughter (6), looked over and saw the wanted poster and then said Grandma, it is you! you are wanted by the police!!! They are taking you to jail. Is it because you ate a grape in the supermarket ?

On on

Bonn Bugle


The "sausage"

More detailed pictures available here (Google) or here (Dropbox).

More misogyny …

We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity . When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

(1) The woman buys the food.

(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.

(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill – beer in hand.

(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.

Here comes the important part:

(6) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.

(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat

Important again:

(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.

(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes

And most important of all:
(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed ‘ her night off ‘, and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there’s just no pleasing some women.

Hmmm!  I used to live at the intersection of Lik Wan Avenue & Fuk Wan Avenue!

Scroll to Top