The Runday Shag

Issue 2515

Date:        31 March 2024

Hare:        Uncle Gerry, Mrs G & Raffles

Venue:     Thursley

On On:     The Golden Fleece, Elstead

Gruppenführer, Gruppenfrau, Gruppenplod & Gruppenhund band together

  Cheap jokes about how many hashers it takes to lay a trail have no place here. This enterprise was the epitome of planning and and forethought with the declared intent of making it the run of the year.

  Gruppenführer Molkte von Gibber selected his elite strike force with great care, in keeping with his hashing philosophy of the lightening blitzkreig, ‘hit ‘em hard and hit ‘em fast’.  A small team chosen to maximise speed, versatility and efficiency.

  First, Gruppenhund Raffles as the van of the party.  Able to sniff out any trail with a bag of unsalted crisps awaiting at the end but otherwise invisible to normal hashers.

  Then Gruppenplod Petal, logistics supremo.  Capable of carrying all the flour necessary for a sustained trail lay without replenishment or the need for refreshment.

  And Gruppen Frau G, strategic distribution specialist, tasked with ensuring that flour was laid in the appointed places and in the correct quantity.  Being agile and willowy she was selected for her ability to access the most improbable places to effect the required placement.  As well, to continuously offer helpful advice to the Gruppenführer in how the job should be done.

  This small but effective team allowed its leader to totally focus his mind on the team’s geospatial position and avoid mislocation, something which has been known to happen to him in the past.

  So, was the objective achieved? Is this destined to be the run of the year?

  The start certainly held promise. A back check after 50 yards which demonstrated a certain lemming instinct in the pack. Another back check with Le Pro trying his very best to mislead a by now wary and distrustful pack. Past the church where an excited Hiroshi, Hash’s hopes for the future in the Far East, jumped up in excitement at the horses and Mum Taco Belle continued to take photos of everything moving and stationary.  On to the third back check, with the chance of a turn south.  But not so.  With the tarred surfaces of Thursley now safely behind it was across the Thursley Road into Houndown and onto Hankley Common.

  Later there were rumours of dissent among the team centred around how far from a check the first On flour should be.  Some variation was to be noted, certainly, but it was not until this point in the run that serious differences might become apparent.  A check with flour leading into it from different directions and the existence of two separate trails seemed to suggest a serious rift or perhaps a communication breakdown.  Confusion, but it became a matter of On On ever On.

  The Gruppenführer’s dislike of hills is well known and to this point they had not featured large in the agenda.  However, things changed at this mid-point with every slight hump and hillock included.  It has to be assumed that by now the quantity of flour was sufficiently diminished as to allow for Gruppenplod to be sent up on his own to continue the trail while the others kept to the lower levels.  All’s fair in love and hashing.  Preservation of resources has to play a part and nobody wants a heart attack victim requiring evacuation.

  Back over the Thursley Road across Thursley Common ascending a few more hills and on in after around 1 ½ hours.

  BB did the honours for returnee Little White Bus, took a vote on the Hares’ performance and brought in Le Pro as stand-in RA, supposedly just having completed a spell of re-education to learn English.

  For those curious to know why he had been carrying a rugby ball around for the latter part of the run, he asserted that this was a UFO.  Apparently everybody in Scotland knows that and believes they are filled with mischievous little green men that made them fly erratically when kicked. His selected miscreants included Gibber for starting the run on tarmac, Hornblower for failing to take up her appointment as RA, Taco Belle for not taking his photograph despite being so photogenic and BB for being a West Ham supporter.

  The pack were then treated to a variety of Easter eggs and generous helpings of birthday cake to mark Petal’s coming of (great) age.

The real hares

  In conclusion, can it be said that this run will be declared the Run of the Year?  That accolade is reserved for Run 1521 on 12/05/24 but has it achieved a place in the Hash Annals of Fame?  Your vote will count!

Raffles says this is a “Tosa”

  On On, Tosser

The multiple hares
Elevensies at Eleven
Birthday boy (Celestial twin, Arfur Pint was celebrating hers somewhere else)

Higher resolution versions of these  pictures and many, many more can be found at Google drive or Dropbox

Editor's Inbox

One harriette has apparently seen too many hairy arses (has she been around a bit?) and sent in this advert from a new London poster campaign.

…which reminds of the time many years ago when I met an old friend in London after he had been working in the Middle East for a few years.  I had to pick his tongue up from the floor when on the underground, because of all the adverts of nice ladies on beaches.  Sadist Khant has ensured that they no longer appear!

Is it just me?

Too many juveniles or illiterates in public facing roles?
  • All weekend the radio carried an advert from Network Rail that repeated ad nauseam saying, “We are improving our services from the South East to Scotland over the Bank Holiday weekend.  This means that there will be no services on some lines and replacement bus services instead.”  I know what they meant, but the use of English suggests that they consider no service to be better than usual!
  • And today from BMW, “Introducing our biggest Mini ever!”  I think they have forgotten about the Mini’s raison d’être!

Grump, grump, grump!

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