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How do you know if someone is ticklish?

Give them a test tickle!

Speaking of which a number of adventurous hashers went to the seaside hopefully to get sand off their private members!

Round objects I hear you cry.

Who the hell is Round and why does he object? Answer next week?

I arrives to find FRB in search of the lost chord and Uncle Gerry wondering if he was in a dystopian world – not one for hashers.

Yes it was a non descript housing estate and the only one to find the gardens here of interest was Potato.

Birthday Pool double parked to show she has never read the Highway Code(who has? – Ed).

However, UG became a traffic policemen(suits him) and stood in the middle of the road and gave us his usual pre-ramble.

To be fair Patel has arranged this venue rather than the hash pay for heinous car parking charges in Saville Gardens.

Anyway we were On Off and soon into Virginia Water and arriving at the Totem Pole.

The 100ft (30m) totem pole is a iconic gift from British Columbia to Queen Elizabeth II in 1958.

The pole features figures including a Thunderbird, Sea Otter, and Raven, representing mythical ancestors – more details of all the images on the net.

This mystical object did not fool the young Olympic hopefuls namely Sofa and Maddy but the older sister Charlotte decided to stay behind to do some other training as she is expected to get a Gold Medal(A gold medal at what? – drinking? -Ed).

Also Big Dick having been trounced last time by Blunderbus led the pack off somewhere.

I was left with 2 hashers Atlantic Ocean and Blunderbus who had formed a liaison but  have several thousand hash experiences between them but the effect of the arcane messages from the totem pole confused them – I once put Blunderbus in a dustbin and told him to piss in the corner!

He was a bit like a blind creature I saw wandering about No Eyed Deer.

Neither of them could find the trail despite the ever faithful Potato and it was up to me to rescue them.

Hence we had a free tour of the gardens with the rhododendrons nearly acting as patriotic flags of Red, White and Blue – er Purple!

It was joy therefore to find the blessed drinks stop ably manned by Tiller and to sup some IOW Yates beer.

Our new RA Belcher welcomed back returness Ban Bin Boggle and her genial husband Hand Stands(Undank barkeit ist der lohn der welt).

Then everyone was sent a car parking hunt.

I ended up having to pay to park a mile away and will be claiming it from hash funds.

At the pub there was some interesting Exeter ales and we rejoined our walking wounded colleague His Achilles is Buggered.

In the true spiirt of hashing Atlantic Ocean and Rumbold decided to go to a different pub(UG to investigate and admonish). If he won’t do it Ban, Bin Boggle will!

Not being part of the dregs(who would want to be? – Ed), I left early to ensure I did not get a ticket.

P.S. Pole Fucker, Chastity Belt and Raffles(who couldn’t be here today as he was doing his hare) eulogised about the Deepcut Hash of the year last Wednesday from Pennyhill Park Hotel. 

They said that I had to find lost souls but it is not my fault that running shoe manufacturers make them delaminate after a few runs.

  On On,