The Runday Shag
Issue 2621
Date: 19 April 2026
Hare: Chunderos & Tequil’Over
Venue: Ockham Pond Road car park
On On: The Black Swan
The Great Sunday Hash Catastrophe: A Report on Questionable Trail‑Setting and Predictable Chaos
On a bright Sunday morning—bright enough to expose everyone’s poor life choices—a mixed herd of runners, walkers, and professional complainers gathered in Ockham Pond Road car park for a Hash trail that had been “carefully” laid by Chunderos and Tequil’over.
Phase 1: Chalk Talk — Where Delusion Thrived
- “It’s all clearly marked.” (It wasn’t.)
- “You can’t get lost.” (They lied.)
- “There are a few short cuts.” ( Actually true)
- “Trust the flour.” (The flour was untrustworthy.)
- “There is a drink stop” (To huge cheers by all).
- FRBs (Front Running Bastards) — sprinting like they were late for a flight, notably led by Atalanta, Caboose and the virgin Alexandrina
- SCBs (Short Cutting Bastards) — with Growler scanning for ways to cheat
- Walkers — who had accepted their fate
- Sporadic
- Cryptic
- And occasionally upside down
person would put them. At one point, RHUM and Belcher followed a promising line of flour only to discover it was bird droppings.At one point the front runners had a heated debate over a blob of flour that turned out to be a crushed rice cake.
Phase 4: The Circle
- The FRBs — claiming they “never got lost” (they did)
- The Walkers — who somehow only did a little less than the runners.
- The SCBs — who arrived back suspiciously early (Belcher and J Arthur).
- The Lost Souls — Mrs G and The Boundah & Petal who got back some time after everybody else.
- The Hares — smug, unapologetic.
After the Circle most hashers ventured to The Black Swan for more refreshments and banter.
On On,
Moz
Now… A Wally trail always divides opinion and leads to a wealth of contributions, so here is one that space did not allow last week!
Run 2620 – A Walker’s Report
Dr D got us to the venue just five minutes before the off, so sparing us the preponderance of Wally’s pre-run talk. He considers Health & Safety to be of the highest importance and was boasting about his portable defibrillator. And so we were off, in the sunshine but there was a chilling breeze. In the first half of the Run (shared by us walkers), the pack were kept together, mainly by Wally’s shepherding which, sometimes, bordered on kettling!
I’d noticed that Mrs G was sporting binoculars and I asked if she had turned twitcher. She explained that Wally had promised two viewpoints, one each for the Runners and Walkers but if she was expecting to see The Shard, there would be disappointment. The Walkers’ viewpoint turned out to be a memorial plaque for a beloved pet set high on a pine tree.
It was at this point that we deviated from the Runners and heard later, that this was where the trail fell apart.
The short cut was fairly well marked and where it wasn’t, we used our trusty phones. There was a sprinkle of rain but not long enough to be a problem. We were back within the hour.
It was about 35 minutes later that the first runner, Atalanta, got back. She had been, as usual, fashionably late and the last one out (she don’t ‘arf go!). I told her that she had, fortuitously, missed 30 minutes of Wally blaming flour saboteurs, hungry dogs and the rain for the “missing” flour in the second half.
I won’t dwell on the Circle which, I’m sure, is adequately covered in the main report.
Pole Fuck*r, recently back from Thailand, announced that he’s decided to join the SH3. I suggested to Atty (working out her last weeks as Clutcher’s Mate) that he only be allowed to join after he’s paid his visitor’s fee!
The OnOn was an absolute delight. I don’t think that Lord R made it to the run but he certainly did occur at the OnOn. Wally had brought a lovely cake for the Birthday Boy. We’re all familiar with those (annoying) candles that can’t be blown out. Wally had used candles that were almost impossible to light! As a piece de resistance, Wally added a huge sparkler which, luckily, did not set off the alarms.
Car parking: 10/10, Territory: 10/10, Weather: 9/10, OnOn: 11/10, The Run: The Jury’s still out!
OnOn,
Breast Mates (the last anagram?)
Ed:- Wally wants to prove to SH3 that he can set a hash. He says…
Run No: 669
Date: 6th May 2026
Time: 11:00 hrs
Hare(s): Wally
Location: Bagshot
RV: Far end of College Ride – GU19 5ET
On Inn: The Foresters
Don’t just read the run report visit the homepage and check out the Onsec’s noticeboard!
Editorial
“On letters to The Editor “
What is this Rag that bares our news,
When it gets clogged with authors’ views?
No chance to muse at Hasher plight?
Get out the pen, and put him right!
Oft said in many writer’s letter,
We want no facts, our minds to fetter,
We KNOW the facts, how dare they tinker,
Come on madge; pass me that blinker.
This is for fun, no serious chatter,
We’ve had enough of this mad hatter.
But despite all that I’ll chip my oar in,
And put ‘im straight! ‘Cos I’m not borin’!
I’ll tell ‘im straight, my views they differ,
‘Bout Farage rants and Starmer dither,
From hating some to total deference,
Whilst leaving out all signs of reference!
Our RundayShag rounds off our FunD’y
With pieces writ by all and sundry.
From Crack ‘ed Wally to Steve de Blunder,
Through Gentle Horney and Gurnard thunder.
So; WITH our dear Rag, so full of care,
We must find time to stand and stare.
Find time to stand beneath the boughs,
And stare as long as sheep and cows!
Anon – with no apologies to W H Davies and his iambic tetrameter masterpiece!
This coming Sunday is the AGM – food provided for you if you have booked and paid.
Trail 2621
This week a labour MP decided to depart from the messy business of politics and talk about how she likes to pleasure herself while watching videos of people having messy sex. Cue comment, “I really don’t need to know how she flips her bean!”
Pictures – Click for larger copies of these & more in this week’s album
Trivia
