Well Laid, Hare!

  Minding my own business, happily drinking a cool “Zwerg” Gold and ruminating on the first Surrey Trail I have “actually” followed recently instead of my usual “Popeye Light” (as I call it – Popeye does “his own thing”; dipping in and out of the trail, probably covering twice the distance and still getting back with the FRBs BUT with only his own “Mental Map”. Whereas; I “cheat” and use my Techie GPS map!! Hence; the “Light” version). GM G sidles up; “I see you’re doing the trail again, after your “sabbatical”, did you do the whole thing?”

  “Yep, all but the last 1/2 mile or so when Beany pushed it and turned away from the Pub, and I was having none of that”, (useful things GPSs, and since, as Dr. Death intoned “It’s not Cricket, you using a GPS.”  “REALLY?” I said, “Good-oh there’s a chance I’ll get a Down Down then!”)

  “Well that was most of it,” says G, “You can do the write up then, I’ll tell Petal”.

  Nice to have a bit of warning, and guess what! Contrary to my usual offering I AM going to mention the trail, well eventually.

  I arrived quite early, Red-Eye had taken up the absent FRB task of “Finding the Trail” and gayly pointed out to me; “You can jump (climb!) over the gate to join the trail or go down to the road and back up again.” “Thanks I say,” jumping (climbing) over the gate to check his voracity.

  I had correctly assumed that Lord Raleigh would stay on the bus I usually picked him up from in Fetcham, and get off at the Star.  He had trundled his trolley up the lane and was busily trying to crack the gate padlock combination and was grumbling that he could open it if only they had kept it lubricated and he could manipulate it properly!  He failed, so I had to jump (climb) over it again to avoid the “Start Circle” crap (“Blah Blah Blah … Rusty”), and find the rather strange and confusing “In-Trail” markings, well they confused me!

  Dr. Death had also not bothered with the SC and was confidently striding past and ignoring the said hieroglyphics, insisting “It’s definitely this way!” and missing the sneaky (as yet unmarked – to be “filled in by the Blunder the “Blunder Chicken” later) out-trail on our left, JUST as I had!

  Reluctantly coming back to the NOW marked trail off the left (on the right coming back, of course!!) I stuck to my resolve of ACTUALLY keeping to the trail; but it was close!

  With the FRBs still mostly in sight, I was going well; quick system check: Heart (going), Lungs (coping). Legs (operating), Liver (as ever), determination (medium).  Right; let’s enjoy this Western side of the Coverts now we are allowed in; many remember when it was verboten!

  When I say Western side, that was short lived, and we lurched over to the East, but though reasonably well Hashed; it’s enjoyable and attractive, wooded but quite bright.  About now, though the route for the Trail was sensible and interesting, the Trail-Laying descended into “Checking….OnOn” at every check; optimistic FRB slowing checks at cross paths, with no hope of delaying the Bastards, was the order of the day.  Even Saint Arthur almost agreed with me as I guffawed at yet another already solved straight on check, not a single Back-Check as far as I could see, and I started numbering the “Checking … OnOns”; Eleven, Twelthty-three, Ninety-seven ….. Ah well persevere!

  The left hander crossed all the way back to the West, wiggled South, and believe it or not; I was still in sight of a few ”Middle Packers” and passed a few “Also Rans” and “Knitting Circle”.

  Towards the bottom of the “Descent South”, I drew the line at going further South and West, went “Off-Piste”, turned East and crossed the Out-Trail …Ahhh so; The Bean was narrowly avoiding a figure of eight!

  I was back; 3.5 in 1 hr 2min, very enjoyable! Must try it again.

  I didn’t get dobbed in for using GPS, but with my new found athleticism GM G re-introduced me as a “Returnee” .. Cheeky sod!

  The DownDowns, complete with obscure local and time relevant “facts”, complex combinations of Hashers’ traits, names and foibles from “The Foot”, confused the crap out of the lot of us and ground to a halt with time to get to the pub in the ever brightening sunshine.

  Couple of good ales on but the heavens opened and rain so heavy it was squirting out of drain covers! Take Cover!!

  OnOn

  Teq