The R.A. (ahem) prayed for a beautiful BBQ June day, and his wishes were answered. We parked in the Ewell Army Reserve Centre, where Red-Eye had the selfless task of opening and closing the big metal gates all day long for cars to park, and forgetful hashers to keep returning to their cars. The run was anticipated to be in Nonsuch Park, grounds of the Henry VIII house within (long demolished) and named as such since it was to be a ‘non pareil’, a palace of such splendour, there would be (none such) equal.

  In the front garden, RHUM informed us that his knowledge of the trail knew no bounds and that he would be checking chicken. Clever Trevor, our hare, up at a ridiculously early hour to set this well-laid trail, sub-contracted to RHUM the task of guiding us home together. We arrived at the run today subdued by the loss of Bodyshop, and this was the first time we could collectively share our feelings. A 1 minute silence took place, allowing us to think of and pay our own quiet respects to our long-time Surrey hash friend.

  On On and off in a downtown Ewell direction; Ms Bean being rapidly dragged along London Road at around 30km/h by Spud, not happy at being on a lead. Swinging south through St Mary the Virgin’s graveyard, we remained suburban for two or three checks, before crossing the A24 and into Nonsuch Park. Trees, woodland tracks, our familiar terrain and then…a grumpy neighbour. We  piled into each other like a black and white episode of the Keystone Cops since two checks and all flour marks had been scrubbed out. Mr Slightly Angry of Castle Avenue, Ewell, was not happy with the flour, clearly the devilish workings of burglars ending with a circle of this powder at his back garden gate. We won’t be leafleting and informing all of Castle Avenue, as was his wish, the next time we run near his house, but maybe we will stick to the trees a little more. He told us where we could go, and I think we thanked him and buggered off, the pack together.

  Thereafter checks were broken forward for a fair way, elongating the pack. We hit the eastern end of Nonsuch, the hash dogs passing through the DOG FREE AREA (tut tut!!) and headed northerly to the next DOG FREE AREA. Checks were numerous, left and right, and did a reasonable job of keeping hashers together, a couple of our guests breaking a few checks along the way. The open grassy landscape here allowed any non-navel gazing mid-packers to short cut sections and get closer to the front. South-westerly back through the park, we crossed again the Ewell By-Pass, with front runners home in 1hr 20, at the same time as the walkers wandered in – great timing. An 8km trail but for the front runners checking, this extended to 10-11km. Ideal!

  Stand in GM (Bonn Bugle) took the reigns, since Herr Gerry was partying in Germany. Our other herrs/hares, Clever Trevor and Terminator were thanked, and on-downed, for their great effort in setting such a good run and feeding us. Numerous visitors and returnees were on-downed (Ball Breaker, Popeye and Olive Oyl, Miss Whiplash and Chestmate, Solange (it’s been so long), Wanchai Fanny Sniffer and partner, to name a few) before the R.A. took the grassy stage. A distinct lack of sinners (aside from Petal as usual), meant the RA had to fall back on other reasons to on-down some of the throng.

Sneaks required!

  [Request: Please could ALL hashers sneak on their hash friends to the RA much more frequently than they do – ammunition is always needed, particularly among the quiet knitting circle hiding under their bushels.  We’d all like to see more than the usual suspects being chastised].

  It was Trinity Sunday, and by popular vote, our own holy trinity of Terminator, Ratty and Do You were on-downed in honour of the day. Since the Holy Spirit descended last weekend to complete the Trinity, Moon Walker who made a rare descent from his heavenly home today also joined the three. It was Elder Abuse Awareness Day, so three of our elders (Clever Trevor, FRB and Lord Raleigh) were identified as elders for us to be aware of…and abused with an on-down. The Magna Carta was signed on this day in 1215, to remove some royal power and pass to the commoners and peasants (okay, via the Barons). Our very own peasant farmer (J Arthur) was very thankful, since this meant he had an allotment, and took his beer on-down gladly.

  Round two of sinners included all dog owners (plus wives/husbands partners, girl/boyfriends,  secret admirers), since this was also Working Animals Day, and since the various dogs drag their owners around the trail, they do work very hard indeed. The RA further informed that it was St Germaine Day, the patron saint of really ugly people, but since we didn’t have enough beer to on-down all the ugly people present, we had to by-pass that one. And finalement, it was Benjamin Franklin Day (electricity down his kite wire in a storm in 1752), so our electrical engineers (Hans der Schwanz, Master Bates and Popeye) duly imbibed of the nectar.

  Food was served: burgers, sausages and chicken, accompanied by salady-type dishes, tiramisu and apple n blackberry crumble, all of course washed down with beer and wine. At this time, FRB took it upon himself to do some gardening, and started to demolish the back of the garden. I think Master Bates has a pic.

  All were very grateful for a wonderful June hash day, 2^nd SH3 50^th anniversary celebration and the kindness of Clever Trevor and Terminator to invite us into their home.

On On,

Bigfoot