We were a rather discombobulated group this morning arriving at Farley Heath.  Dutifully avoiding the road closed signs (well, all but one of our number avoided the closures), we arrived having squeezed ourselves along minuscule lanes dodging the oncoming Chelsea tractors and horse boxes.  Lord Raleigh meantime accosted bus drivers and railway men working on the tracks seeking directions to the car park arriving on foot pushing his trusty trolley.

Bonn Bugle meantime was having a three way (conversation) with the hare trying to find out where the on out started.  “Obvious isn’t it?” our hare demanded during the three way.  We missed FRB’s blood hound instincts in searching for the start today.  [Ed: he was bamboozled by another road closure!]  It was hidden away across the road through oodles of gunky slippery mud which was a sign of things to come.

  Despite the mud, the hare laid a very picturesque trail taking in a shallow river crossing which Chunderous said was so pretty she was glad she had run the full trail.  Our hare had incorporated a very welcome short cut which rejoined the main trail but kept the pack together.  Well that was the intention!  Victor Meldrew however had other ideas and at the short cut informed Baboon Arse that he was taking a short cut.  This however was in the wrong direction back towards the trail which Baboon Arse decided must be wrong and continued on trail following green blobs of green flour instead.  This was most definitely a good choice since Victor Meldrew was not seen again although he could be heard calling from a distance, “I don’t believe it!”

  The Salvation Army had obviously heard about a group of escapees from the local nursing home gallivanting in Lycra and trainers across woodland areas and when the pack returned they were delighted to see the Salvation Army had set up a soup kitchen to feed the poor souls (thank you Clever Trevor and Terminator) the soup was delicious and very welcome on such a cold day.

  The Salvation Army also brought with them a first aider Dr Petal who rescued one of the nursing home escapees carrying him for some 700 yards back to near the soup kitchen.  Upon being fed, he leapt up, shouted “It’s a miracle!” and ran to be reunited with his car(er).  Dr Petal is a very naughty boy!

  Special thanks to our hare J Arthur who, fresh from his sick bed, laid a beautiful trail with a thoughtful short cut keeping the majority of the pack together. ♥️SH3 you rock 😘

  On On, Too Posh