For those with more than a Nano second of memory the coming together again of the GM, previously Games Mistress at St. Trinian’s, and No Nookie, known locally as Dr Alison Sutton of Poole NHS, must have sent a ripple of concern amongst those travelling to the tropical paradise that is Westbourne on Chime. Had not their previous Woking debacle left enough bruises. Who could not forget the horrors of the Woking one way system, unlimited yellow lines, no parking provisions, etc, etc, and that was before the Run started?

  However Hashers always live in hope, or indifference, and initials signs were that they had raised their game by the fact that the indicated start was in rural surroundings, well away from our urban Hotel base, reinforced by a car journey of at least 30 minutes to get there.  I shall not mention the 78 traffic lights and the 52 roundabouts on the journey, plus the Sat-nav having a nervous breakdown at the start and finish, [You just did!] as that could be interpreted by the more cynical of you as complaining.

  And so it proved, a dank Car Park in a pine forest.  In this environment it would not be unreasonable to assume that we could look forward to the best qualities of a Surrey Run, with lots of small forest paths, tricky back checks in forest groves, and the feel of the soil underfoot.  O joy, the Hares have got the message.  Sadly the dream was destroyed within 300 yards of the start as we emerged on to a wide gravel road, to lead onto another gravel road, which led to yet more gravel roads.  Yes, dear readers, the whole Run was on gravel roads.  To be quite honest this Run could have just as easily been laid from a 10 Ton Bedford Lorry (possibly the GM’s Xmas present), and if you think I am exaggerating a number of signs were on display saying “no lorries beyond this point”.

  I will acknowledge a variation in the Run in as much as the runners were sent behind a hill whilst the walkers were sent in front of it, but both loops returned to trail already run upon, and all on that cursed gravel road.  We know the surrounding country was wet and muddy, but 100% on road was extracting the Michael.

  However the Hares are neither naïve or unaware of their crimes and use all weapons available in their defence, in this case a mammoth drinks stop that with dedication would wipe the brain of any remembrance of the Run.  Every flavour of Baileys was on offer, and duly consumed, although a rogue bottle of Domestos found its way onto the table, fronting as Cherry Brandy.

  Back at the Circle the Hares put on a Post Office defence, “best Run of the day”, “helped keep your shoes dry and mud free”, “needed a simple Run to get back to the Hotel on time”, plus saying “Fleur, SBJ, and Blue Suit needed locking up for their stupidity in finishing at the wrong Car Park.”  Perhaps the only sensible thing they said all day.

So there you have it, a Hash Run delivered in a very strange way, and where if the Hares had any imagination they would have said to arrivals, “jump into your car, the road conditions are perfect for Surrey’s first off-road car rally.”   Now that would have been fun.

UG.